Friends Season 1 Episode 1: "The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate" Quotes
(To Rachel) Welcome to the real world! It sucks! You're going to love it!
(On the phone with her dad) Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait, wait, I said "maybe!"
Rachel
All: (About Rachel trying to cut up her credit cards) Cut, cut, cut, cut.
Rachel: (Cuts up one card) You know what? I think we can leave it at that. It was kind of a symbolic gesture...
Monica: Rachel, that was a library card.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
Ross: (About Carol being a lesbian) She didn't know! How should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. (Everyone turns to stare at him) Did I just say that out loud?
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman sobbing at 3 a.m., "I'll never have grandchildren! I'll never have grandchildren!" was what? A wrong number?
Monica: I said that you had a nice butt. It's just not a great butt.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Ross: There's an image.
Ross: I'll be fine. Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
Monica: No, you don't.
Ross: No, I don't. To hell with her. She left me!
Ooh... I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
Phoebe
Monica: Why? Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that?!
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than "to get you into bed."
Frannie: Hey, Monica!
Monica: Hey Frannie, welcome back! How was Florida?
Frannie: You had sex, didn't you?
Monica: How do you do that?
Frannie:Oh, I hate you, I'm pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you're having sex! So? Who?
Monica: I hate men! I hate men!
Phoebe: Oh no, don't hate. You don't want to put that out into the universe.
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
Phoebe: All right, come here, gimme your feet. (Starts massaging them)
