Bob: There's room for both of you to succeed.
Joan: In this town? Are you nuts?
Bette: Fuck off, Bob!

Bette: Where's your wheelchair?
Joan: It's on the set, why?
Bette: You're going to need it after I break your goddamned legs!

And it was Gloria Swanson who was robbed in 1950, not YOU, bitch!

BD: You make it look so easy. I hope I didn't ruin it.
Bette: If Crawford didn't ruin the picture, nobody could.

Joan: Well in the desert that was my childhood, I was grateful for any kind of genuine affection to feel cherished.
Bette: Who was the lucky cub scout?
Joan: My mother's second husband, Henry Cassen. He was a lovely man. Meant the world to me. Well, we called him Daddy Cassen, but he wasn't really my daddy. We weren't blood relations, so it wasn't incest, but he was kind and gentle, and he loved me. I led him into it.
Bette: You were just a child. Your mother should have kicked him out!

Look, we don't have to be best pals, we just have to be allies for this picture to be a success.

Joan: My mother threw me out like a pair of old shoes. Shipped me off to convent school when I was 12.
Bette: Maybe she was trying to protect your virtue.
Joan: Oh no, no, no. No. That ship had long sailed. She knew that.
Bette: You lost your cherry when you were 12?
Joan: Eleven.
Bette: Christ. I didn't even get a tingle until I was 25, and then I waited another two years until I did the deed, and that was on my Goddamned honeymoon.

Mamacita: The crew is abuzz.
Joan: About my performance?
Mamacita: About their relationship. Apparently, they've been working on her themes all weekend long.

You're jealous because men don't look at you anymore and they look at me. You can't take it that your turn is over and you're blaming me. What a joke.

BD

Hedda: Well then why would you go to my mortal enemy?
Joan: Because I had to get your attention.

I don't need subtext, Bob, I need good text.

You know, Bette, I think what you're doing with this part is incredibly brave.

FEUD: Bette and Joan Quotes

Feuds are never about hate. Feuds are about pain. They're about pain.

Olivia

You know, they only made one film together and how that happened, and what happened afterwards, well. Well, that was a story and a feud of biblical proportions.

Olivia