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Angela: I have nothing to live for.
Peter: Sure you do. Someday a white man's gonna to be elected President again.

Hi Angela. I'm Peter's friend, Glen Quagmire. Thanks for having me in your home and I would have had sex with you but Peter neglected to tell me you were a dumpster fire. Some friend, huh?


I don't want to have to take off my clothes because I'm self-conscious about my Congressman Barney Frank body.


I really hope there's a hungry horse back there.


Every Friday night, I'm a clearance-sale area rug.

Mayor West

Peter: Richard. Hey Richard. Can I get your uatograph?
Richard Dreyfus: Fine. You have a pen and paper?
Peter: What do I look like a Staples? I don't carry that stuff around.
Richard Dreyfus: Look I'm sorry I can't help you.
Peter: What you're too big and famous to go to the corner drug store and pick up a pen and paper and possibly some other groceries I need and come back and sign several things for me? You're a jerk.

Brian: Don't you think it's too soon for a play about Terri Schiavo?
Chris: Or too late?

I bet you taste like Mountain Dew and Starburst.


A perfectly normal little boy! Who just happens to be a transvestite! Which ... begins with the letter T.

Displaying quotes 55 - 63 of 138 in total