Family Guy Season 7 Quotes
We will have equal rights for all. Except blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Jews, gays, women, Muslims. Uhmm...Everybody who's not a white man. And I mean white-white, so no Italians, no Polish, just people from Ireland, England, and Scotland. But only certain parts of Scotland and Ireland. Just full blooded whites. No, you know what? Not even whites. Nobody gets any rights. Ahhh...America!Griffin
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Citizen 1: [gasps] The king!
Citizen 2: The king is here!
Female Citizen: I didn't vote for him!
- Permalink: The king! The king is here! I didn't vote for him!
[Red/Cleveland is reading Andy's/Peter's letter]
Andy's voice: Dear Red, if you've come this far, maybe you're willing to go a little further. You remember the name of the town in Mexico, right?
- Permalink: Dear Red, if you've come this far, maybe you're willing to go a ...
Paul: You fondled me in my sleep?
Paul: I'm not sure I'm okay with that.
Stewie: Well, it's done.
- Permalink: You fondled me in my sleep? Yep. I'm not sure I'm okay with ...
Brian: Lauren just finished a fascinating doctoral thesis on sub-orbital propulsion mechanisms that NASA is using for the next generation of space shuttles.
Chris and Meg: Oooohhhhhh... Aaaaahhhh!
Peter: So, Lauren, um, whenever I'm watchin' your show... you give me wood. Where do we go from here?
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Yeah, so Lauren Conrad and Brian Griffin are now a couple. Apparently, she gave that dog a bone, and... he gave it right back!Jay Leno
- Permalink: Yeah, so Lauren Conrad and Brian Griffin are now a couple. Appar...
Have you seen the news about Lauren Conrad and Brian Griffin? You know, a lot of these young Hollywood girls carry their little dogs around in their purse. But Lauren carries one... in her pants.Craig Ferguson
- Permalink: Have you seen the news about Lauren Conrad and Brian Griffin? Yo...
Peter: You know somethin' Brian? I bet you'll make the late night monologues.
[cut to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon]
Fallon: I mean, it's a little weird, isn't it? This new Lauren Conrad relationship? When asked about their sex life, Brian was quoted as saying: "Oh, yeah. We just do it me style."
- Permalink: You know somethin' Brian? I bet you'll make the late night monol...
Peter: Oh no! Connie's been hurt! I guess someone should lie on top of her to keep her warm.
[Peter smiles as he lies down on Connie, then he turns to the camera]
Peter: What are you looking at? It's a cartoon!
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Peter: Hey, whatever happened to your son, Kevin?
Joe: He died in Iraq.
Peter: [unemotionally] Sad.
- Permalink: Hey, whatever happened to your son, Kevin? He died in Iraq. ...
Tom and Diane: (both stoned) Here's Ollie Williams with the Blaccu-weather forecast.
Tom: How's the weather look, Ollie?
(cut to a stoned Ollie at a field)
Ollie: (calmly) Not too bad.
(cut back to Tom and Diane)
Tom: Right on.
- Permalink: Here's Ollie Williams with the Blaccu-weather forecast. How's ...
Policeman: [after cuffing Brian for him posessing pot] I don't appreciate drug addicts in my town! I'm a Family Guy!
Peter: [laughs] He said it!
- Permalink: I don't appreciate drug addicts in my town! I'm a Family Guy! ...
[when he has an orgasm with Carolyn] Wait. Wait! Wait!! OHHHH!!! And boom goes the dynamite.Cleveland
- Permalink: Wait. Wait! Wait!! OHHHH!!! And boom goes the dynamite.
Stewie: Ah, things'll work out for you. Now, come on, let's forget our problems and get lost in the world of books. [picks up a book] Ooh! "Horton Hears Domestic Violence in the Next Apartment and Doesn't Call 911!"
[Cutaway to Horton the Elephant sitting in a chair reading a book. From another room, we hear a couple arguing]
Man: You think it's easy working all day?!
Man: You think I like it?!
Woman: I don't think it's easy, but, yes, I do think you like it!
Man: No, I- yeah, I like being away from you, 'cause I can't stand looking at you!
Woman: You- [we hear a blow land. She screams and starts sobbing]
Man: Hey, you think I wanna do that?! YOU THINK I WANNA HURT YOU?!
Woman: NOT IN FRONT OF THE BABY- [we hear another blow land, and another scream, followed by more sobbing]
Man: I DON'T WANNA HURT YOU! YOU MAKE ME HURT YOU!
Horton: [to himself] I'm sure there's two sides to this.
- Permalink: Ah, things'll work out for you. Now, come on, let's forget our p...