Family Guy

Family Guy Season 7 Quotes

Season 7 Episode 16: "Peter's Progress"

Griffin: We will have equal rights for all. Except blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Jews, gays, women, Muslims. Uhmm...Everybody who's not a white man. And I mean white-white, so no Italians, no Polish, just people from Ireland, England, and Scotland. But only certain parts of Scotland and Ireland. Just full blooded whites. No, you know what? Not even whites. Nobody gets any rights. Ahhh...America!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Citizen 1: [gasps] The king!
Citizen 2: The king is here!
Female Citizen: I didn't vote for him!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 7 Episode 15: "Three Kings"

[Red/Cleveland is reading Andy's/Peter's letter]
Andy's voice: Dear Red, if you've come this far, maybe you're willing to go a little further. You remember the name of the town in Mexico, right?
[Red pauses]
Red: CRAP!
 • Rating: Unrated

Paul: You fondled me in my sleep?
Stewie: Yep.
Paul: I'm not sure I'm okay with that.
Stewie: Well, it's done.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 7 Episode 14: "We Love You Conrad"

Brian: Lauren just finished a fascinating doctoral thesis on sub-orbital propulsion mechanisms that NASA is using for the next generation of space shuttles.
Chris and Meg: Oooohhhhhh... Aaaaahhhh!
Peter: So, Lauren, um, whenever I'm watchin' your show... you give me wood. Where do we go from here?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jay Leno: Yeah, so Lauren Conrad and Brian Griffin are now a couple. Apparently, she gave that dog a bone, and... he gave it right back!
 • Rating: Unrated

Craig Ferguson: Have you seen the news about Lauren Conrad and Brian Griffin? You know, a lot of these young Hollywood girls carry their little dogs around in their purse. But Lauren carries one... in her pants.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: You know somethin' Brian? I bet you'll make the late night monologues.
[cut to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon]
Fallon: I mean, it's a little weird, isn't it? This new Lauren Conrad relationship? When asked about their sex life, Brian was quoted as saying: "Oh, yeah. We just do it me style."
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 7 Episode 13: "Stew-Roids"

Peter: Oh no! Connie's been hurt! I guess someone should lie on top of her to keep her warm.
[Peter smiles as he lies down on Connie, then he turns to the camera]
Peter: What are you looking at? It's a cartoon!
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Hey, whatever happened to your son, Kevin?
Joe: He died in Iraq.
Peter: [unemotionally] Sad.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 7 Episode 12: "420"

Tom and Diane: (both stoned) Here's Ollie Williams with the Blaccu-weather forecast.
Tom: How's the weather look, Ollie?
(cut to a stoned Ollie at a field)
Ollie: (calmly) Not too bad.
(cut back to Tom and Diane)
Tom: Right on.
 • Rating: Unrated

Policeman: [after cuffing Brian for him posessing pot] I don't appreciate drug addicts in my town! I'm a Family Guy!
Peter: [laughs] He said it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 7 Episode 11: "Not All Dogs Go to Heaven"

Peter: [says grace before the meal] Dear Lord, please give me the cheat codes from "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out". I have been stuck on Bald Bull for four years. I tried Left-Left-Up-B-dodge-uppercut, but it still knocks me out. And, you know, they say you're supposed to go Right-B-Up-dodge-Left-uppercu... [laughs] Listen to me, telling you how to play a game.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Stewie: Just hang on! All right?! There's a lot of us! There's a lot-- It's a big order!
Stewart: What time do they stop serving breakfast?
Stewie: It's 3:00!
Stewart: Some of them serve breakfast all day.
Stewie: None of 'em serve breakfast all day!
Dorn: Do they have beer?
 • Rating: Unrated

Drive-Thru Teller: Yes, welcome to McDonald's. Can I help you?
Stewie: Oh, hailing frequencies open, huh? [chuckles] Uh, yeah. We're gonna get 2 McChicken Sandwiches and a Diet Coke and... What do you want, Michael?
Dorn: A McDLT.
Stewie: No. I already told you, they don't make those anymore.
Dorn: You know, sometimes it's a regional thing. You could ask.
Stewie: No McDonald's anywhere makes a McDLT anymore!
Frakes: I'd love a Shamrock Shake if they got any of those.
Stewie: It's September, Jonathan!
Burton: [w/visor on] Stewie, can I take this ****ing headband off?
Stewie: No, LeVar. You're blind. That's the only way you can see.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sirtis: Stewie, I'm not really much of a fast food eater.
Stewie: Yeah? Can you read my mind? Can you tell what I'm thinking right now? I'm thinkin' "shut up and get a salad".
Spiner: I want some McNuggets.
Stewie: We'll get to you, Brent!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 7 Episode 10: "FOX-y Lady"

Brian: Oh, my God. Fred Savage is the greatest actor in the world!
Savage: That's all I ever wanted to be known for.
Lois: Is it okay if we run this story instead?
Savage: Sure thing!
Daniel Stern: [as the voice-over from "The Wonder Years"] It was just then that I knew that things were finally going my...
Savage: [angrily] I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE!!!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Anchorman: Lois, please, take the job for Fox's sake.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 7 Episode 9: "The Juice Is Loose"

West: We don't want you in our town, Simpson! We don't love you like we did in 1993!
[cut to Homer Simpson from The Simpsons]
Homer: D'oh!
West: And as for you, O.J., we don't want you here either!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

O.J. Simpson: Hi. Are you Peter Griffin?
Peter: That's my name, don't put a knife in it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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