Family Guy Season 3 Quotes
Peter: That's my son out there. I taught him how to wipe.
Jake: Why won't you teach me how to wipe, dad?
Tom Tucker: Because you don't have a bottom, son.
- Permalink: That's my son out there. I taught him how to wipe. Why won't y...
Meg: Oh, my God!
Mr. Pewterschmidt: He's violating Seabreeze!
Peter: No, no he's just awkwardly positioning himself--oh now he's violating Seabreeze
- Permalink: Oh, my God! He's violating Seabreeze! No, no he's just awkwa...
You know what's funny? I always thought that dogs laid eggs, and I learned something todayPeter
- Permalink: You know what's funny? I always thought that dogs laid eggs, and...
Hotel Manager: And this is the bathroom, but watch out we got some bad roaches here.
Red Roach: Hey, you're on our turf man!
Green Roach: Hey mana, I'll cut you, I'll cut you up so bad you, you gonna wish I no cut you so bad!
Brian: Those are bad roaches.
Hotel Manager: I blame the schools
- Permalink: And this is the bathroom, but watch out we got some bad roaches ...
Mrs. Pewterschmidt: Would you like a piece of candy?
Stewie: I smell death on you
- Permalink: Would you like a piece of candy? I smell death on you
Peter: Your honor, Brian'll be a great dad. Hell, if I was half the parent Brian is, I'd know that Chris' favorite ice-cream is...
Brian: Chocolate Chip.
Peter... and Stewie's favorite bedtime story is...
Brian: Good Night Moon.
Peter: And Meg's real father's name is...
Brian: Stan Thompson
- Permalink: Your honor, Brian'll be a great dad. Hell, if I was half the par...
Lawyer: Mr Griffin, which of the following two phrases best describes Brian Griffin: Problem Drinker or African-American Haberdasher?
Peter: Uh, do I-I guess problem drinker, but that's uh-
Lawyer: Thank-you. Now: Sexual deviant or magic picture that if you stare at it long enough, you see something?
Peter: Well, sexual deviant, but that other one's not even, eh-
- Permalink: Problem Drinker or African-American Haberdasher? Uh, do I-I gu...
Teacher: In French, when you want to say "yes", you say "oui, oui!"
Peter: You gotta be kidding me! Oh my god, that is hysterical. Oh, man. Hey, what do you say for "no"? "Doo Doo?" Hey, I'll be right back. I gotta go take a wicked "yes!"
- Permalink: In French, when you want to say yes, you say oui, oui! You got...
Brian, I am very disappointed in you. I'd turn my back on you but I've seen what do in that situationPeter
- Permalink: Brian, I am very disappointed in you. I'd turn my back on you bu...