Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
Family guy
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Peter: Guys, am I the only one who thinks its weird talking about Bonnie cheating on Joe in front of their baby?
Suzie: (Thinking in Patrick Stewart's voice) I think we can all benefit from a little strange every now and then. I know I will.

Kevin: Mom, it's my birthday, and you invited your friends!
Bonnie: All yours are dead!

He used his stinky French wiener to defile her.

Peter

Secrets are what keep a marriage fresh.

Peter

Well, now I've seen Woodrow Wilson naked.

Stewie

Joe: It feels good to know that thanks to me and my colleagues, a lot fewer people will be injecting cocaine into their penises tonight.
Peter: Is that a thing?
Quagmire: It's a great thing.

That's right, Joyce, apparently there were over 100 kilos of cocaine right here in Quahog. And yet my guy can't get dick.

Tom Tucker

Stay away from my brother's butt.

Stewie

Hey kid, come here. I wanna see if I can still smell your mom's boobs on your mouth.

Quagmire

Look, Brian! Meg is one of the sensitive, bearded Robin Williams characters!

Stewie

Neville: Wanker!
Prince Charles: Yes, I know!

After the interval, find out which 12 football teams tied tonight.

Clive Crowley
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 105 in total

Family Guy Season 10 Quotes

"1,2,3,4 I'm dancing from my vagina.
1,2,3,4 I'm grinding, I'm grinding
Orgasm-eyes, Orgasm-eyes, and we're done."

Stewie

Stewie: "Brian, if I take up roller derby what od you think my name should be? Bruisin' B. Anthony, Alicia Sleaze, or Quo Hag?"
Brian: "How about Harlot O'Scara?"
Stewie: "You dick, that's awesome."