Family Guy Season 5 Episode 4: "Saving Private Brian" Quotes
Lois: (opens Chris's closet) What the hell!? Marilyn Manson? Is that who's causing all this?
Peter: Yeah, it's all him or hers fault. Who does he or she think he or she is. Look, you can totally see his or her nipples. That's obscene maybe.
Lois: There's only one thing to do.
Peter: You're right, we've got to find this Marilyn Manson and I've gotta give that bastard or bitch a piece of my mind or penis.
- Permalink: What the hell!? Marilyn Manson? Is that who's causing all this? ...
Sgt. Angryman: Congratulations men, you've all passed basic training. I'm proud to call you soldiers. I'm sure you'll do your country proud tomorrow when you are all shipped off, to Iraq.
Stewie: Oh don't worry, I'm sure he means Fraggle-Iraq.
- Permalink: Congratulations men, you've all passed basic training. I'm proud...
My God. You are the sorriest bunch of rejects I've ever seen, and I've seen The Bangles in concert.Sgt. Angryman
- Permalink: My God. You are the sorriest bunch of rejects I've ever seen, an...
(after killing the Vaudeville Guys) Okay, they're dead, alright? We're not going to be seeing them again.Stewie
- Permalink: Okay, they're dead, alright? We're not going to be seeing them a...
(Stewie walks into the recruiters office)
Recruiter: Peggy would you send in the next- oh, you're already here. Say, aren't you a little young to join the Army?
Stewie: No, I have that...um...Webster disease. Hey, is that the M9 double action pistol?
Recruiter: Sure is, standard issue in the Army.
Stewie: Where do I sign?
Recruiter: Right here. Did I mention there's a hundred dollar bonus if you sign up a buddy?
Stewie: Really? Well I think I have a surprise for somebody. (Stewie signs up Brian too)
- Permalink: Peggy would you send in the next- oh, you're already here. Say, ...
Chris, you can't join the army, you're too young. Besides, the Army's weak. Now the Marines, those are the men you wanna (Bleep).Lois
- Permalink: Chris, you can't join the army, you're too young. Besides, the A...
Stewie: Let me ask you this. When was the last time you saw something through to the end?
Brian: Well I uh..
Stewie: NEVER, thats when! You need this Brian. You dropped out of college, you still haven't finished your novel, do you know what you lack? Discipline! You know where you'll get it? Right here in the Army!
- Permalink: Let me ask you this. When was the last time you saw something th...
(to his therapist) Every time my daughter opens her mouth, I just wanna' punch her in the face, she's really annoying.Peter
- Permalink: Every time my daughter opens her mouth, I just wanna' punch her ...
(Gregory Peck and his kids are riding in the car, his kids look and talk exactly like him)
Son #1: Are we there yet?
Son #2: It's crowded back here!
Son #3: Stop touching me!
Son #2: Your leg is rubbing up against mine!
Gregory Peck: Hey! Quiet down or I'm pulling over.
Son #1: Stop breathing on the window!
Son #2: You idiot! That's condensation, it's on the outside.
Gregory Peck: That's it! I will come back there and so help me god, I will hit you with my ring-hand.
- Permalink: Are we there yet? It's crowded back here! Stop touching me! ...
(playing piano and singing) I am Peter Griffin, I like fancy food, I like reading comic books and dressing like a dude! (throws piano) Oh yeah! Rock 'n' roll!Peter
- Permalink: I am Peter Griffin, I like fancy food, I like reading comic book...