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Construction Worker #1: My son got into DeVry.
Construction Worker #2: Oh, good. What'd he have to do, open the door?
Construction Worker #1: (Sighs) Can't you let me have anything?

Instructor: Welcome to the Quahog maritime school Chris. Our curriculum consists of being on boats for long periods of time with men, just men, for many days at a time. Up on the deck with lots of men, or down in the galley with lots of men.
Chris: Is this some kind of pirate school?
Instructor: Well... a certain kind of pirate. Yes, we've been called that.
Chris: I don't know...
Stewie: Is there some kind of pre-school program?

Cool, I don't have to go to school. I can just pee in my bed all day.

You know Meg, female ballet dancers are famous for anorexia and bulimia, and uh... seems to work out for them. So, hintidy hint hint.

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