Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 2 Episode 4: "Brian in Love" Quotes
Stewie: What the hell is this?
Lois: Sweetie, that's tuna salad.
Stewie: Oh, is that what it is? Really? Because I could have sworn it was mayonnaise and cat food
Lois: This could be a great chance for you two to bond.
Peter: Bond? James Bond. I'll do it
Chris [on the phone]: So, ah, what are you wearing? Wow. I bet you could see right through that.
Lois: Chris, who you talking to?
Chris: Grandma
Lois: It's Stewie. He peed on the carpet.
Peter: Do I... Do I hit him?
Lois: No!
Dr. Kaplan: I'd like to pat you Brian. Would that be okay? You're a good dog, Brian. A very good dog.
Brian: Keep it above the waist, Doc
Tom: And now part two of our very own Asian correspondent, Tricia Takanawa's special report on sex.
Tricia: Tom, I'm standing in the bedroom of Judy and Glenn Issacs. Ten years married and still in love. What's their secret? Judy has an inoperable brain tumor the size of my fist and that just happens to be Glenn's fetish
Peter: Hey Brian. How ya doin'? They let you out already?
Brian: Peter, I was in a therapy session, not a lunatic asylum
Brian: My therapist thinks he's figured out what my problem is.
Peter: Oh yeah, what does Sigmund Fraud think it is?
Brian: He, ah, thinks I'm in love.
Peter: Oh my God. You can talk!
Brian: Never mind
Stewie, did you unhook mommy's bra?
Lois
Brian: Okay, just to be clear, we were talking about me being in love with you and you rejecting me, right?
Lois: Yes.
Brian: I'm just making sure.... Say we were both drunk and we knew we wouldn't remember...
Lois: Well, I'd have to be really, really... No!
You're urinating! So, it's been you all along. Oh, this is too perfect! I've been taking the blame for Rex!
Stewie
Bob Barker: Help control the pet population and have your pet spayed or neutered.
Brian: Oh, just die already