Townsend: She has this way of getting to me. I’ll be feeling all-knowing and all-powerful, and then, she’s in my face, and I just feel impotent.
Satan: When you say impotent, do you mean sexually?
Townsend: No, she’s talking about Jake The Flake and the marching band, and why do people make fun of marching bands? That’s a worthy entertainment, and I should have just ripped out her heart.
Satan: Why didn’t you?
Townsend: It’s not part of the plan or has that changed?
Satan: Do you want the plan to change?
Townsend: No.
Satan: Good. Then find someone else to take her heart out, and you and I will eat it together. Now tell me about your dreams.

Townsend: Hey, here we are. Just the two of us coming full circle. Your testimony went poorly today, didn’t it? I think the judge was leaning against Leroux until you testified. What do you think? And the sad thing is, you had so many chances to not get involved. How many times did I tell you to go home to your daughters? Don’t get involved in David. But then, every step of the way, you did the opposite. And now your husband’s offering this gift. Go climbing, and yet, here you still are. I’m gonna do for you what God did for Job. Job only had three daughters, and God killed them. You have four daughters. I’m gonna kill every last one, then your husband, then burn down your house. I’m not gonna touch you though, no, because I want you to live with the realization that you’re responsible for their deaths, that you let them die through your obstinacy, your need to win.
Kristen: God, you talk too much.

Acosta: Sonia, don’t. Look at me. you said you felt this thing, this evil oppressing you. Killing him is evil.
Sonia: He broadcast for the next hundred days.
Comedian: Wasn’t me.
Sonia: He encouraged the Hutus to take to the streets, to breaking into homes, churches, raping Tutsi women, hacking innocent people with machetes exactly like this.
Comedian: I did not. I did not I swear. I’m just a comedian.
Sonia: Two million Tutsis murdered, hacked to death by their neighbors. Two million.

Kristen: So you’re a Buddhist now?
Andy: No, no, I’m just, uh, I don’t know, um, exploring. But don’t worry; I’m still me.
Kristen: No, I know you’re still you. I just, I mean I find it weird that you’re criticizing the Catholic stuff in my job while …
Andy: Oh, no. Buddhism’s not a religion. It’s a practice.

Kristen: David, are you all right?
Acosta: Kristen, help. Help.
Bloch: David what is going on here? Just look at you. You’re gonna kill yourself like this. Just push the call button if you need anything. You’re only making this worse for yourself, David.

Harlan: You’re seeing half of everything in the world because Plague controls it. You need to control it.
Acosta: That’s why I can’t trust anything I’m seeing.
Harlan: Yep. How do you know if you’re being killed or not? Follow the yellow brick road.
Acosta: What does that mean?
Harlan: Pull it out.

Ben: This is Kristen.
Kristen: Hi.
Judy: So you’re me?
Kristen: I’m …
Judy: You’re David’s type – smart, intellectual. Where did you go to school?
Kristen: OK, um, why don’t I wait outside.
Ben: Judy, you’re being a bitch.

Grace: Hi.
Acosta: Hey.
Grace: You have a question?
Acosta: I … I do. Should I be afraid here?
Grace: Anyone with God doesn’t need to be afraid.
Acosta: But I don’t know if God is with me.
Grace: He is. He’s there.
Acosta: Where? I don’t see him.

Harlan: Don’t call her. It’s her shift. The one with the squeaky shoes. Squeak, squeak, squeak. We call her Nurse Plague. You’re the guy who was mugged, right?
Acosta: Yes.
Harlan: Watch out for her. Crazy bitch. The squeaky shoes. You can hear them down the hallway. I’m Harlan.
Acosta: David.
Harlan: We got to stick together, David. Most black patients die in hospitals from accidents: bleeding out internally, complications after surgery, infections. But it’s not random. It’s because of nurses like Plague. They torture and kill us, and then she collects our hospital wristbands as trophies. Don’t say I said anything. Go to sleep fast.

Mira: Does David have any enemies?
Kristen: Yes.
Mira: Who?
Kristen: Leland Townsend.
Mira: How do I know that name?
Kristen: He’s a forensic psychologist, works with the DA.
Mira: And he’s an enemy?
Kristen: Yes.
Mira: OK, anybody else?
Kristen: Well, David’s work, our work, takes us into the circle of many ill people.
Mira: Ill as in …
Kristen: Psychopathic.

Renée: You know why I really think you called? Because you’re not over this. Because you said we should stay apart, but you’re the one who called me.
Acosta: Renée.
Renée: What is the other option here? You thought I was teasing you with my sister’s handwriting? How does that even make sense?

Townsend: In 1785, the king of France found that potatoes were the most economical way to feed the peasantry. The problem was peasants hated potatoes. So the kind has his servants build a big brick wall and behind it, he plants potatoes in his secret garden. The peasants grow curious and then upset. They climb over the wall and steal all the food planted there. And that’s how potatoes became a staple of the French peasantry.
Malindaz: What does that mean?
Townsend: The forbidden is always desirable.

EVIL Quotes

Santa got high, now everything is funny. Someone had a gummy, he thought he might try. His mouth is so dry, his teeth are kind of itchy. How’d he ever get so high? Ho ho ho, just the taste of a yummy gummy. Ho ho ho, yummy yum in my rummy tummy. Ho ho ho, gummy gum, tummy, funny gummy. Oh god everybody knows.

Pudsy’s Christmas

Acosta: The Church has a backlog of about 500,000 requests for exorcisms and miracle appraisals, and my colleague Ben and I are hired by the Church to investigate unexplained phenomenon and recommend whether there should be an exorcism or further research.
Kristen: I didn’t know that was a job.
Acosta: It is.