Prepare to enter the poorhouse, you little bitch!


Where'd you meet her, Drama? The Barry Bonds hearing?


Ari: You think my assistant's hot?
Eric: Yeah, I do.
Ari: I think I'll hit that.

Justine: You're gonna have to work for it.
Vince: I got into this business so I wouldn't have to work.

Vince: I can't watch myself again.
Drama: I love watching myself.
Eric: Too bad the audience doesn't.

Turtle: It'll be like Prom.
Eric: So I guess you won't have a date then?
Turtle: I told you ten thousand fucking times, she had food poisoning.

Ari: You fucking my assistant?
Vince: No!
Ari: Last thing I want to do is fire one of your fuck-buddies. You know that. You know that right?

Eric: What time is it?
Ari: It's time for you to wake the fuck up. I already shot a 72 bitch!
Eric: What on the front 9?
Ari: Yeah, that's funny cunty.

Vince: He got a girl.
Eric: Really, who?
Turtle: I don't know, he must have ordered in late night. Woke me up at like 4:30. Sounded like a couple of baboons fucking.

Drama: She gave me the ride of my life. I just hung on to those lats, simmered all control.
Turtle: You know, if I was holding onto those lats, I'd think I was fucking Evander Holyfield!

Eric: Name one girl you ever pulled off the internet.
Turtle: There's all sorts of confidentiality agreements with these sites. I ain't telling you shit!

Ari: I had video sex with an Ecuadorian girl this morning.
Eric: I hope she was 18. Federal offense if not.

Entourage Season 1 Episode 4 Quotes

Ari's Wife: Could I have the car keys please?
Ari: Come on! There's a cab stand at fucking Yawnka!
Ari's Wife: Give me the fucking keys!
[Ari hands over keys]
Ari: Drop me off

Ari: Who's got the number one movie in the country, motherfucker?!
Eric: We beat the squirrel?
Ari: Number one live action film in the country.