Desperate Housewives Season 3 Quotes
Mike: I don't believe this. You are setting me up?
Susan: You need to move on, okay?
Mike: I don't wanna move on. I came here to see you.
Mike: Well, I'm not available. So, if you feel like kissing someone tonight point those lips at Maggie.
- Permalink: I don't believe this. You are setting me up? You need to move ...
(Lights are out)
Susan: You know, I don't believe we need a flashlight, my eyes have totally adjusted for the dark.
(sound of glass breaking)
Ian: What was that?
Susan: Don't walk in the kitchen!
- Permalink: You know, I don't believe we need a flashlight, my eyes have tot...
Russell catches Edie and Carlos in bed together.
Russell: Well, I see you can't close a sale without opening something else.
Edie: Oh, please, I heard about your open house on Holly Drive, they're still disinfecting the Jacuzzi.
- Permalink: Russell catches Edie and Carlos in bed together. Well, I see y...
(Mike walks into Carlos' room, Edie is hiding next to the door)
Mike: (whispering) So uh... you got a girl in here?
Carlos: No, why?
Mike: Because when I came home, I thought I heard sex noises.
Carlos: (laughing) Nah, that was just me.
- Permalink: So uh... you got a girl in here? No, why? Because when I cam...
Susan: Look, Ian is going to come and invite you to dinner for Friday and you are not, I repeat, not going to accept.
Mike: Why is Ian inviting me to dinner?
Susan: He wants to thank you for saving us and he wants to show that he's not jealous of you. How's that for irony?
Mike: I didn't plan to kiss you but you didn't exacly resist.
Susan: I was in shock.
Mike: Why were you so upset when you mentioned Ian?
Susan: Because we just had a fight. About you.
Mike: Really? (smugly) Talk about me a lot?
Susan: Mike, I am marrying Ian. We have hired a caterer, we are going with the salmon so just back off.
(Mike sees Ian coming over to them)
Mike: Hey Ian.
Susan: Hi Ian. I just asked Mike, he can't make it.
Mike: Yeah, I'm sorry, I've got plans tonight.
Ian: Ah. But didn't we say Friday?
Mike: Friday? Oh, Friday I'm wide open.
- Permalink: Look, Ian is going to come and invite you to dinner for Friday a...
(Gabrielle and Victor are stuck in an elevator, Gabrielle starting to undress Victor)
Victor: Come on, cut it out, the power could come on at any moment.
Gabrielle: I know, that's what makes it so exciting, the risk.
Victor: But I, I'm kinda running for mayor here, remember?
Gabrielle: It's an elevator, silly, it has an emergency stop button... I don't.
- Permalink: Come on, cut it out, the power could come on at any moment. I ...
Edie: No man respects an easy conquest. I make all my men wait.
Susan: It's true, she has a little room with magazines and an aquarium.
Edie: I have so missed our friendship.
- Permalink: No man respects an easy conquest. I make all my men wait. It'...
Gabrielle: Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. I'm afraid Mr. Lang has to take an important meeting in his limo...now.
(She grabs his arm and drags him off to the limo. He gets inside with Gabrielle close behind. He loosens his tie as she begins taking off her clothing.)
Victor: To the radio station, Clyde. So what's this all about?
Gabrielle: Your speech--I liked it.
Victor: Seriously, here? Now?
Gabrielle: Well, you laid out all your positions. Don't you want to get acquainted with mine?
Victor: Clyde, could you put up the partition, please?
Clyde: Yes, sir. Anything else?
Gabrielle: Music. Loud music.
- Permalink: Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. I'm afraid Mr. La...
Passion. It's a force so potent we still remember it long after it's faded away. A drive so alluring it can push us into the arms of unexpected lovers. A sensation so overwhelming, it can knock down walls we've built to protect our hearts. A feeling so intense, it resurfaces even though we tried so hard to keep it buried. Yes, of all emotions, passion is the one that gives us a reason to live, and an excuse to commit all sorts of crimes.Mary Alice
- Permalink: Passion. It's a force so potent we still remember it long after ...
Andrew: So he is a fat loser, who do you expect to get for $8.50 an hour?
Lynette: Well, that's what we pay you and you seem happy enough.
Andrew: That's because I'm doing the beer delivery guy.
Lynette: Oh... okay... my fault for asking...
- Permalink: So he is a fat loser, who do you expect to get for $8.50 an hour...
(narrating) It was natural for Edie and Carlos to assume that if they ever had sex, it would be amazing. And in fact, it was... Amazingly bad.Mary Alice
- Permalink: It was natural for Edie and Carlos to assume that if they ever h...
(Victor wants to go to bed with Gabrielle.)
Victor: As far as I'm concerned, the chase is half the fun.
Gabrielle: Half the fun? Oh honey, if I ever do say yes... (gives him a long kiss) You're going to adjust that percentage way down.
- Permalink: As far as I'm concerned, the chase is half the fun. Half the f...
Susan: Mike, you saved our lives. (Mike pulls Susan's cheese out of his back pocket) And our cheese! Ian, can you believe it? Mike saved our cheese!
Ian: Yes, yes, he's quite the hero.
Mike: (smirking) Good thing I was following ya.
- Permalink: Mike, you saved our lives. And our cheese! Ian, can you believe...
Mary Alice: (opening voiceover) It is often said that confession is good for the soul. No one knew this better than a certain blonde who had been confessing her sins to Father O'Malley once a week since she was a child. As the years had passed, much to Father O'Malley's dismay, a theme began to emerge...
(Flashback: Edie is in the confessional.)
Edie: I seduced the cable guy again.
(Flashback: Edie is in the confessional.)
Edie: I'm having an affair with a folk singing duo.
(Flashback: Edie is in the confesional.)
Edie: Last week I let Rabbi Lipman get to third base.
Mary Alice: And once she had been forgiven, Father O'Malley would tell Edie Britt to go out into the world and sin no more. Unfortunately for Edie, temptation seemed to be...
(Present: Edie walks into Mike's hospital room.)
Edie: Hello there.
Mary Alice: ...everywhere.
- Permalink: It is often said that confession is good for the soul. No one kn...