(Carlos calls while Gabrielle picnics on the lawn with Bill)
Carlos: Hey, hey, who's the dork?
Gabrielle: Carlos?
Carlos: What's with that cap? Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
Gabrielle: Where the hell are you?
(She looks around her and sees Carlos on Mike's frontporch, watching them as he drinks a beer. He waves at her)
Gabrielle: What are you doing at Mike's house?
Carlos: I live here.
Gabrielle: What do you mean you live there? Since when?
Carlos: Gabby, my car's been in the driveway for three weeks. Even you can't be that self-absorbed.
Gabrielle: Well, as you can see, I have more pleasant things to focus on.
Carlos: So when you gonna tell Jimmy Olsen there that you hate picnics?
Gabrielle: I'm gonna hang up now.

Danielle: You hold on to your virginity. If Austin won't wait then he doesn't deserve you.
Julie: I just don't want to lose him.
Danielle: It's better than losing your self respect. Take it from a girl who's known at school as 'Little Miss Van De Tramp'.
Julie: I thought you made that up?
Danielle: Only because it was nicer than the other names they were calling me.

Carlos: Why would I send you flowers?
Gabrielle: To sabotage my new relationship! (nods to Bill)
Carlos: Oh, picnic boy? What do I care if you go out with him?

(to Gabrielle) Gabby if I was gonna send you flowers I wouldn't send pink roses, I'd send you white orchids, because I know they're your favorite, and if I wanted to cheer you up sunflowers, and for the flu, blue irises.


Bree: Now that we're all assembled I'd like to introduce the guest of honor. I hope you'll all be as delighted to meet her as I was. You can come in now.
(Alma enters.)
Bree: Everyone, this is Alma Hodge, Orson's first wife.
(The ladies stare at Bree, then at Alma.)
Bree: (to Susan) Oh, about that apology, anytime you're ready.

(to Gabrielle) What's to explain? A pretty girl gets flowers do you know many girls never get flowers. I work in a flower shop, I've never got any freaking flowers, so stop your whining about who sent them and just be glad he did.


Edie: I think Wisteria Lane is the place for you.
Alma: Good. More than anything I just wanna fit in.
Mary Alice: (narrating) Oh you will, Alma. You absolutely will.

Well, gotta hand it to her. Just when you think Bree's thrown every conceivable theme party she hosts a Shame on you for thinking my husband killed someone dinner.


Austin's not gay. Not even after three beers...Don't ask.


Bree Hodge? I'm Alma Hodge. I believe we have someone in common.


(to Orson) So, what is it with you and redheads?


Tom: I don't want you to be afraid to take a firm hand with Kayla. She is part of our family now and.. you know what that means.
Lynette: Yeah! I should treat her as badly as I treat my own children.

Desperate Housewives Season 3 Quotes

(narrating) In every housewife's closet there's an article of clothing that tells you more about its owner than she would want you to know. It might be a shirt that she despises, but wears without complaint. Perhaps, it's some lingerie, she knows isn't hers, but refuses to discuss. Or a dress she once loved, that she can no longer bare to look at. Yes, you can learn a lot about women from what they choose to wear. You can learn even more by what they choose to take off, and who they take it off for.

Mary Alice

(narrating) Orson Hodge had always assumed that the moment before he died, his entire life would flash before his eyes. But as he fell from the roof of the Fairview Memorial Hospital, it wasn't his life he saw. It was one night in particular (flashback to the night Monique Polier got killed). Yes, Orson Hodge had always assumed that his life would flash before his eyes the moment before he died. Luckily for Orson, that moment was not scheduled for today.

Mary Alice