(Carlos calls while Gabrielle picnics on the lawn with Bill)
Carlos: Hey, hey, who's the dork?
Gabrielle: Carlos?
Carlos: What's with that cap? Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
Gabrielle: Where the hell are you?
(She looks around her and sees Carlos on Mike's frontporch, watching them as he drinks a beer. He waves at her)
Gabrielle: What are you doing at Mike's house?
Carlos: I live here.
Gabrielle: What do you mean you live there? Since when?
Carlos: Gabby, my car's been in the driveway for three weeks. Even you can't be that self-absorbed.
Gabrielle: Well, as you can see, I have more pleasant things to focus on.
Carlos: So when you gonna tell Jimmy Olsen there that you hate picnics?
Gabrielle: I'm gonna hang up now.

Danielle: You hold on to your virginity. If Austin won't wait then he doesn't deserve you.
Julie: I just don't want to lose him.
Danielle: It's better than losing your self respect. Take it from a girl who's known at school as 'Little Miss Van De Tramp'.
Julie: I thought you made that up?
Danielle: Only because it was nicer than the other names they were calling me.

Carlos: Why would I send you flowers?
Gabrielle: To sabotage my new relationship! (nods to Bill)
Carlos: Oh, picnic boy? What do I care if you go out with him?

(to Gabrielle) Gabby if I was gonna send you flowers I wouldn't send pink roses, I'd send you white orchids, because I know they're your favorite, and if I wanted to cheer you up sunflowers, and for the flu, blue irises.


Bree: Now that we're all assembled I'd like to introduce the guest of honor. I hope you'll all be as delighted to meet her as I was. You can come in now.
(Alma enters.)
Bree: Everyone, this is Alma Hodge, Orson's first wife.
(The ladies stare at Bree, then at Alma.)
Bree: (to Susan) Oh, about that apology, anytime you're ready.

(to Gabrielle) What's to explain? A pretty girl gets flowers do you know many girls never get flowers. I work in a flower shop, I've never got any freaking flowers, so stop your whining about who sent them and just be glad he did.


Edie: I think Wisteria Lane is the place for you.
Alma: Good. More than anything I just wanna fit in.
Mary Alice: (narrating) Oh you will, Alma. You absolutely will.

Well, gotta hand it to her. Just when you think Bree's thrown every conceivable theme party she hosts a Shame on you for thinking my husband killed someone dinner.


Austin's not gay. Not even after three beers...Don't ask.


Bree Hodge? I'm Alma Hodge. I believe we have someone in common.


(to Orson) So, what is it with you and redheads?


Tom: I don't want you to be afraid to take a firm hand with Kayla. She is part of our family now and.. you know what that means.
Lynette: Yeah! I should treat her as badly as I treat my own children.

Desperate Housewives Season 3 Quotes

Susan: Mike, you saved our lives. (Mike pulls Susan's cheese out of his back pocket) And our cheese! Ian, can you believe it? Mike saved our cheese!
Ian: Yes, yes, he's quite the hero.
Mike: (smirking) Good thing I was following ya.

Gabrielle: (about Edie dating Carlos) It's awkward, it's, it's like if I donated a dress to charity, and I went to a party and you showed up wearing it.
Edie: Again, if you gave it away in the first place then what the hell are you bitching about?!