Bree: Danielle, I don't know what you're planning, but I need to talk to you right now.
Danielle: Give it up, mom. We're leaving.
Bree: I'm calling the police.
(Bree runs to the phone. Matthew runs to it and tears it off the wall.)
Bree: Do you remember that girl, Melanie Foster? Matthew is the one who killed her.
Danielle: I know you don't want us to be together, but that's the lamest thing I've ever heard.
Bree: His mother told me what happened. It's true.
Matthew: Let's go, Danielle.

Nora: Hi.
Lynette: Hi. Did you get the check?
Nora: Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. Do you have a minute?
Lynette: Tom?!
Nora: I'm not the type of person that can keep things bottled up inside.
Lynette: Really?
Nora: So I'm just gonna have to get this off my chest. You made me feel really bad about myself yesterday at the restaurant.
Lynette: My sincerest apologies.
Nora: You treated me like some sort of mercenary, like the only reason I came here was to extort money from you.
Lynette: Well, to be honest, first, we bought you pie, then you tried to extort money from us.

Lynette: I don't see another way to make this work. We've gotta dip into the pensions.
Tom: Oh, I don't like the sound of that.
Lynette: Well, it's that or the kids college fund. We'll write Nora one big check, and in return, she'll sign away her claim for the back child support. If we're lucky, she'll take the bird in the hand.
Tom: Okay, what are we talking about? How much?
Lynette: Well, we need to show her we're serious. $30,000.00?
Tom: Are you kidding? Thirty?
Lynette: If she takes you to court, we'll lose and end up paying 11 years of child support all at once. We could lose the house.

Lynette: I must have been crazy, agreeing to this.
Tom: Honey, you're gonna feel differently once you meet Kayla. She is sweet, smart little girl, plus it'll help you get past your resentment of Nora.
Lynette: I don't..Well, here goes.

Danielle: See, I told you she wasn't home. Her car's not even here.
Mathew: And you said the safe was upstairs?
Danielle: Damn it, my mother must have changed the combination.
Matthew: Okay. Wait here. I'll be right back.

Susan: I've got everything ready to go-- flowers, candles, Elvis Costello CD all cued up.
Gabrielle: But who has the ring?
Susan:He does.
Gabrielle: So, wait, you're gonna get down on one knee, pop the question, and while you're down there, dig in his pocket?
Lynette: What if you pull out his key chain?
Susan: Then I'm gonna have to find a way to force it on my finger.

Danielle: Mom, please move.
Bree: No. I gave up on your brother, and I'm not gonna make that mistake with you.
Matthew: We don't have time for this.
(Matthew pulls out a gun and points it at Bree.)
Danielle: Where did you get that? What are you doing?!
Matthew: Move away!
Bree: Danielle, I want you to get out of the house now. He's a killer.
Matthew: Shut up!
Danielle: Don't point that at my mother!
Bree: Danielle! I'm serious, go.
Matthew: What's wrong with you?! I'm gonna shoot you!
Danielle: Matthew, stop it!

Bree: Excuse me. Do you have the time?
Alfred: Yeah, it's just after 8.
Bree: Oh, I was afraid of that.
Alfred: Afraid of what?
Bree: Well, I'm only supposed to be restrained until 7. You see, I have a problem with sleepwalking. They just tie me up so that I don't wander off and hurt myself.
Alfred: Yeah, well, I'm sure a nurse will be in here soon.

Mike: You know, I had the feeling when I first saw you in the movie theater that we'd met before.
Orson: I don't think so.
Mike: Oh, I'm pretty sure. I think I know you. Any chance I was one of your guinea pigs?
Orson: No, the only prison work I did was back in Virginia.
Mike: Diploma says you graduated from Minnesota.
Orson: I'm licensed in three states. Open wide, please. Don't talk. I wouldn't want to hurt you.

Carlos: Okay, Gaby, can we please talk about this?! You're the one that gave me permission, remember? You said, "go have sex with somebody"!
Gabrielle: To have meaningless sex, Carlos. Not to sleep with the woman who's carrying our child!
Carlos: What is the matter?! Look, we're even! You had an affair, and I had an affair!
Gabrielle: I had a reason to. You were never here! I've been here, Carlos. I have tried so hard to not be selfish and to put your needs above mine. I mean, for god sakes, look at me! I have agreed to be a mother for you!
Carlos: Look, Gaby, you have every right to be mad at me. So I'm gonna go and check into a hotel room and let you cool down, but we are going to work this out.
Gabrielle: Forget the hotel, Carlos. Get a lease.

This is the street where I used to live and these were the people with whom I shared my life. I met them the day they moved in. And I saw what they brought with them. Beautiful dreams for the future. And quiet hopes for a better life. Not just for themselves, but for their children, too. If I could, would I tell them what lies ahead? Would I warn them of the sorrow and betrayal that lie in store? No. From where I stand now, I see enough of the road to understand how it must be traveled. The trip is to keep moving forward, to let go of the fear and the regret that slow us down and keep us from enjoying a journey that will be over too soon. Yes, there will be unexpected bends in the road, shocking surprises we didn't see coming, but that's really the point. Don't you think?

Mary Alice

Nora: Hey, you! You must be Lynette.
Lynette: And you must be Nora.
Nora: I guess it'd be weird if we hugged.
Lynette: Probably.
Tom: Wh...where's Kayla?
Nora: Oh, she didn't come. We got into this huge fight, and I was, like...I just couldn't stand to look at her face on that long plane trip, so I dumped her at the neighbors. But, hey, come on, you got me.

Desperate Housewives Season 2 Quotes

Xiao-mei: Here, taste this.
Carlos: Oh, man! Xiao-mei, that is amazing.
Xiao-mei: You like?
Carlos: Oh, yeah. Sorry if I'm making a mess.
Xiao-mei: It's okay. Mu Shu Pork. Supposed to be messy.
Carlos:I wish Gabrielle could cook like this. Have you ever tried her enchiladas?
Xiao-mei:One time they make me sick.

Matthew: Mom. Look, I know you're out there. Please, just talk to me. Mom, I need something to drink. Just some water, some juice, something, anything, please. (bangs on the door) Mom! You want me to say I set Caleb up. Yeah, I did it. I started thinking about all those years, years that we had to take care of him and I just thought maybe once he was gone, we could have a normal life. And I'm sorry. But Mom, you have got to let me out of here, now!
(Betty gets up. With a crowbar, she bangs on the door.)
Betty: You! You were willing to stand by and let me murder your brother without reason. It's an unforgivable betrayal! I am so consumed with rage, it's best you stay in there because if I let you out, I don't know what I might do to you!