My mother had a tattoo on her ass?

Larry

Larry: I changed my mind. I'd like to get it back.
Richard Lewis: You can't be an East Indian-giver.

Andy: You missed a good one. This was a really nice...
Larry: I'm sorry I missed it. Perhaps had I been notified, I may have been able to attend my mother's funeral.

I thought I'd never say this, but Larry is right.

Wanda

Cheryl: I'm acting like I'm not thrilled to be sitting here with you, but I am just out of my mind right now.
Larry: I've been urinating all day.
Alanis: Really? That's the effect I often have on people.

Stu: Have a bite with the Reisers.
Larry: At least they pick up a check every now and then!

Why don't we call the terrorists and ask them could they pick another weekend that's more suited for you?

Wanda

When you said "Mr. Duplicity" I naturally thought you were referring to me.

Larry

Larry: Going to his pool party?
Jeff: Yeah I am. Yeah I am.
Larry: Wearing a bathing suit? Going swimming?
Jeff: Speedo!

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