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You know me, I don't like to complain.


Jeff: A dog! She chose a fucking dog over her own father.
Larry: You sat down and you laid it out?
Jeff: I talked to her. I told her, 'Daddy's sick. He can't stay in the same house with Oscar.' She wants Oscar! She wants the dog!
Larry: Calm down
Jeff: Where is the dog?!
Larry: They took him back to your house.
Jeff: My house? No, no, no, his house. His house. I'm at the W hotel. It's his house now.

(reading from condolence book) "Beautiful service. Sorry about your loss. Where's Larry?"


My mother had a tattoo on her ass?


Larry: I changed my mind. I'd like to get it back.
Richard Lewis: You can't be an East Indian-giver.

Andy: You missed a good one. This was a really nice...
Larry: I'm sorry I missed it. Perhaps had I been notified, I may have been able to attend my mother's funeral.

I thought I'd never say this, but Larry is right.


Cheryl: I'm acting like I'm not thrilled to be sitting here with you, but I am just out of my mind right now.
Larry: I've been urinating all day.
Alanis: Really? That's the effect I often have on people.

Stu: Have a bite with the Reisers.
Larry: At least they pick up a check every now and then!

Why don't we call the terrorists and ask them could they pick another weekend that's more suited for you?


When you said "Mr. Duplicity" I naturally thought you were referring to me.


Larry: Going to his pool party?
Jeff: Yeah I am. Yeah I am.
Larry: Wearing a bathing suit? Going swimming?
Jeff: Speedo!

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 62 in total

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 3 Quotes

You think I'd send anyone to this piece of shit store?


It's like eating a delicious sponge!