Curb Your Enthusiasm

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 3 Quotes

Season 3 Episode 10: "The Grand Opening"

Cheryl: (seeking outfit approval) Is it too 'Knot's Landing'?
 • Rating: Unrated

Larry: You know how bookstores make you feel stupid?
Jeff: Yeah.
Larry: Well health food stores make me feel really unhealthy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cheryl: (to no one in particular) You Goddamn f**king son of a bitch!
Susie: (thinking she's being addressed) F**k you, you car wash c**t. I had a dental appointment!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jeff: You have far more bald professionals than the average person.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 9: "Mary, Joseph and Larry"

Waiter: Do you want your first tip back?
Larry: No.
Waiter: Okay.
Larry: I'd like my second tip back.
 • Rating: Unrated

Larry: (on the manger scene) So you can put all this junk on a trailer?
Joseph: It's not junk, but we do put it in the trailer.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mary: Kill him, Joseph, kill him!
Larry: Shut up, Mary!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Becky: You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary.
Larry: I thought they were animal cookies.
Becky: Jesus Christ is not an animal!
Larry: I thought he was a monkey.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 8: "Krazee-Eyez Killa"

Larry: You think I'd send anyone to this piece of s**t store?
 • Rating: Unrated

Cheryl: You're that scared of Krazee-Eyez that you'd flee the country?
Larry: Yes, I am! I want to live. I want to have both legs. I want to have my penis and my testicles intact.
 • Rating: Unrated

Krazee Eyez: I'll snap off your neck with a crackle and a pop.
Larry: Oh, I like the Rice Krispies thing, yeah.
 • Rating: Unrated

Krazee-Eyez: (to Larry) Let me ask you something. You like eating the p***y?
 • Rating: Unrated

Krazee-Eyez: So you think you're going to cross me and mess with my s**t?
Opening your f**king trap and flapping your lip?
Don't f**k with me, nigga, or you're gonna get dropped.
I'll snap off your neck with a crackle and pop.
If you say anything. you'll beg to die,
Cause I'll make you suck my d**k, then I'll nut in your eye.
I'll stomp on your world as my name was Godzilla,
I'm coming for you, motherf**ker, I'm your Krazee-Eyez-Killa
 • Rating: Unrated

Krazee-Eyez: What's crackin', player?
Larry: How are you?
Krazee-Eyez: I'm alright, I'm alright. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just chilling. What's up?
Larry: Chillin'. Just chillin'.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cheryl: I'm gonna call her.
Larry: What! You're gonna what?
Cheryl: He told you that he is fooling around with other women!
Larry: You're not gonna go call Wanda now!
Cheryl: Of course I am, she's engaged to him.
Larry: I don't care. He'll blame me! You know what he's gonna do? You ever heard his lyrics? "You betray me, you're gonna die?"
 • Rating: Unrated

Larry: (to Krazee-Eyez) Are you my Caucasian?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 7: "The Corpse Sniffing Dog"

Larry: I'm surprised Hitler didn't round up the toupe people.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jeff: You really love that dog.
Larry: It's nice to be affectionate to something German. You don't get the opportunity that often, you know.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Larry: Hamster? Put him in a cage and you can torture him a little bit?
Sammy: They're boring.
Larry: But you torture them. It's not boring if you torture them.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Larry: What do you say?
Braudy kids: Thank you!
Larry: You're welcome!

(Larry rubs Susan Braudy's nose in his refusal to thank her)
 • Rating: Unrated

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