You have far more bald professionals than the average person.


Cheryl: (to no one in particular) You Goddamn fucking son of a bitch!
Susie: (thinking she's being addressed) Fuck you, you car wash cunt. I had a dental appointment!

Larry: You know how bookstores make you feel stupid?
Jeff: Yeah.
Larry: Well health food stores make me feel really unhealthy.

(seeking outfit approval) Is it too 'Knot's Landing'?


Mary: Kill him, Joseph, kill him!
Larry: Shut up, Mary!

Becky: You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary.
Larry: I thought they were animal cookies.
Becky: Jesus Christ is not an animal!
Larry: I thought he was a monkey.

Waiter: Do you want your first tip back?
Larry: No.
Waiter: Okay.
Larry: I'd like my second tip back.

Larry: (on the manger scene) So you can put all this junk on a trailer?
Joseph: It's not junk, but we do put it in the trailer.

You think I'd send anyone to this piece of shit store?


(to Larry) Let me ask you something. You like eating the pussy?


So you think you're going to cross me and mess with my shit?
Opening your fucking trap and flapping your lip?
Don't fuck with me, nigga, or you're gonna get dropped.
I'll snap off your neck with a crackle and pop.
If you say anything. you'll beg to die,
Cause I'll make you suck my dick, then I'll nut in your eye.
I'll stomp on your world as my name was Godzilla,
I'm coming for you, motherfucker, I'm your Krazee-Eyez-Killa


Krazee Eyez: I'll snap off your neck with a crackle and a pop.
Larry: Oh, I like the Rice Krispies thing, yeah.

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 3 Quotes

I know they're temporaries, but temporaries aren't supposed to look like Chiclets.


Not one Spanish person has figured out that piata is a sick fucking game?