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Curb Your Enthusiasm

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Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 2 Quotes (Page 2)

Season 2 Episode 5: "The Thong"

Larry: So I'm really happy with my new sneakers. You know, 'cause they're gray. And, if you think about it's a good color, 'cause white is really too bright and black is like a pair of shoes. And gray is kind of like right in the middle. They look good
• Rating: Unrated

Therapist: I see swings of emotion that disturb me a little bit, Larry.
Larry: There's no swings. I'm a hammock. A hammock is very placid
• Rating: Unrated

Richard: This is my 28th therapist since 1969. I don't want any more. I don't want to break the record.
Larry: The recap is very hard, isn't it? Your recap is two, three months, isn't it?
Richard: "Two, three months?" That's just the crib!
• Rating: Unrated

Larry: I don't really get this fascination that people have with the ocean.
Cheryl: No?
Larry: I mean, I stare at it for ten minutes, and I go, "Okay, I get it.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Larry: I don't really like the outdoors, you know. It's not a good place for bald people out there
• Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 4: "The Shrimp Incident"

Larry: How were the garlic noodles the other night?
Alan Wasserman: What?
Larry: The garlic noodles?
Alan Wasserman: I didn't touch your garlic noodles.
Larry: I didn't say you touched my garlic noodles. They were your garlic noodles.
Alan Wasserman: Right.
Larry: But you did touch the shrimp
• Rating: Unrated

Larry: This isn't our food.
Cheryl: Did you check the order before you left?
Larry: Yeah, I did, but I decided to take the wrong food home. Thank you for inquiring
• Rating: Unrated

Larry: He implied that I was lying about my step-father.
Jeff: You don't have a step-father!
Larry: But I didn't like the implication
• Rating: Unrated

Larry: You throw in a "f**k," you double your laughs
• Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 3: "Trick or Treat"

Trick or treaters: It's Halloween, can we get some candy?
Larry: Yeah, it's Halloween but that doesn't mean you can go around to people's houses and bilk candy from them
• Rating: Unrated

Walter [to Larry]: Are you Jewish?
Larry: You wanna check my penis?
• Rating: Unrated

Walter: You know what you are? You are a self loathing Jew.
Larry: I do hate myself, but it has nothing to do with being Jewish
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Larry: I didn't know it was going to be felony-or-treat
• Rating: Unrated

Larry: "Bald asshole?" That's a hate crime. We consider ourselves to be a group.
Police Officer: I'm bald and I'm not offended.
Larry: With all due respect, Officer Berg, you are not bald. You've chosen to shave your hair and that's a look you're cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don't really consider you part of the bald community... with all due respect
• Rating: Unrated

Larry: I think I am just going to get a Cobb Salad. I'd like to make a few substitutions, if that's OK. I'll get... no bacon. No eggs. Bleu cheese on the side.
Cliff Cobb: Are you sure you want a Cobb Salad? Do you do that every time you order that salad?
Larry: Do you have a problem with it?
Cliff Cobb: It's my grandfather's salad. I'm a Cobb of Cobb salad fame.
Larry: I think that this is a real bulls**t story
• Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 2: "Thor"

Larry: Wrestling's fixed.
Thor's kid 1: What do you mean?
Larry: All the matches are set up beforehand. The winners are all pre-determined. It's completely illegitimate.
Thor's kid 2: You mean it's fake?
Larry: Exactly, fake. That's exactly the word I'm looking for. Dad's kind of a big fake. You know what he is? He's more of an actor than a wrestler.
Thor's kid 1: Dad's an actor?
Larry: That's right. The whole thing's a big phoney boloney. Everybody knows that. Nobody thinks it's real. You tell him the bald turd said hello.
• Rating: Unrated

Susie: [Jeff] thinks I don't know about his porn stash! Take all this crap, he's gonna need it alone in the hotel!
Larry: He actually told me he doesn't want any of this stuff.
Susie: "Freak That Booty", "Big Ass Momma", all his favorites. Think I don't know about this crap?
[Larry looks at the cover of "Big Ass Momma"]
Susie: Oh, you're into this s**t, too? You're into that kinky Big Ass Momma crap?
Larry: No! Are you crazy?
Susie: I thought you were a family man!
Larry: No, I thought I recognized that woman from the back
• Rating: Unrated