For a guy who can't talk, he has a pretty big mouth.

Larry

What do you mean you want a helicopter ride?

Jeff

What the fuck is that? He's like a mime or some shit?

Richard

You've gone through enough today. You don't need to be looking at garbage.

Larry

There's plenty of Pinkberry's. I bet you there's a couple of decent ones near a prison.

Larry

First of all, congratulations on a great attempt on a chat and cut.

Larry

You see what's going on here? She's doing a chat and cut.

Larry

You know what the best thing about going to New York is? I'm not gonna see your face for three months.

Susie

Guy: You've got something on your head.
Larry: I believe they refer to that as a smiley face. They're frequently used by idiots at the end of emails and text messages, such as "I miss you ...smiley face."

That's a long time for sorrys. That's like saying Happy New Year in October.

Larry

The Dog days are over. From now on, you're Deano!

Larry

Chocolate pretzels? Get the hell outta here!

Larry

Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes

Larry: "Bald asshole?" That's a hate crime. We consider ourselves to be a group.
Police Officer: I'm bald and I'm not offended.
Larry: With all due respect, Officer Berg, you are not bald. You've chosen to shave your hair and that's a look you're cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don't really consider you part of the bald community... with all due respect

Larry: Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?