I took over for a one-armed man. There was a one-armed man playing him.


Lotta kikes like the show...jigaboos too.


Larry: I am going to go do something nice, right now.
Susie: It's about time.

I'm still at the same e-mail...ihatelarry.


He's gonna change your life. And a life that sorely needs changing.


It's not for performance. It's just for recovery.


I'm livin' large. I just had a croissant filled with mother fucking champagne.


The woman is on this earth to catch balls. Interesting theory. Too bad I don't have a daughter. I would like to impart that knowledge to her.


She knows all the words to Cats, even the British version.


Larry: Lesbians have kind of an advantage in a way.
Leon: They some tricky mother fuckers.

Tie goes to the hetero.


I came alive in areas that have been dry like the Sahara desert.


Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes

Larry: My name is Todd, and I'm an incest survivor.
Group: Hello.
Larry: I had sex with my uncle when I was 12. He lived in Great Neck, he was a doctor. An osteopath, I dont even know what they do, but I know they're doctors. Something to do with muscles I think, neither here nor there.

Larry: "Bald asshole?" That's a hate crime. We consider ourselves to be a group.
Police Officer: I'm bald and I'm not offended.
Larry: With all due respect, Officer Berg, you are not bald. You've chosen to shave your hair and that's a look you're cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don't really consider you part of the bald community... with all due respect