I didn't mean to waste 12 seconds of your precious time.

Larry

Greg: They should start selling them in every gift shop in New York City.
Larry: Yeah, I don't think Jews would like that.
Greg: Get a life Jews!

He started a war. He didn't really care for Jews. He thought they were a bit much.

Larry

That's a remarkably idiotic thing that you just said but you know, the fact that you're wearing glasses, I perceive it as a little less idiotic than I normally would.

Larry

Hopefully there's an afterlife. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Larry

Larry: I saw this commercial last night, and Michael Jordan had a Hitler moustache.
Buckner: Yeah I saw that. He's the first one to wear that since Hitler. Isn't he?

You go Buckner yourself!

Yari

I get a f*ckin' tingle in my johnson when a motha f*cka tell me he's about to get some ass.

Leon

You f*cking Bucknered it! Why is Buckner on my team?!?

Yari

I like to munch and pee.

Larry

Business Manager: You can't judge me because I have a beautiful wife.
Larry: Uhhhh, I think I can.

I didn't beat him. The one-armed man did it!

Larry

Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes

Larry: I think I am just going to get a Cobb Salad. I'd like to make a few substitutions, if that's OK. I'll get... no bacon. No eggs. Bleu cheese on the side.
Cliff Cobb: Are you sure you want a Cobb Salad? Do you do that every time you order that salad?
Larry: Do you have a problem with it?
Cliff Cobb: It's my grandfather's salad. I'm a Cobb of Cobb salad fame.
Larry: I think that this is a real bullshit story

Larry: Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?