You owe me a lot of drinks.

Lewis [to Prentiss]

Let's keep him anyway. He might know something. Plus it's Saturday. If we have to stay here, so does that guy.

Lewis [to J.J.]

[Elizabeth] was that special blend of cranky and bitchy. And I thought, man, I'm not putting up with this.

Billy

Please. Give me a little credit. I've talked guns out of the hands of psychopaths. I can handle one kook who hired a lawyer.

Prentiss [to Rossi]

Kristy: How much has she ...?
Rossi: Two glasses, eight donuts.
Prentiss: [Shouting] SEVEN DONUTS.

Garcia: Should we bring in the rest of the team? Because we do have that [pointing to Alvez] holding us up.
Alvez: Do you remember like 30 seconds ago when you thanked us? We were so young then.

"The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend." -- Chuck Palahniuk

Garcia

Prentiss: Also, the more you look at this crib, the more you might consider divorce.
Kristy: Yeah, I checked the color on the web site. It's called Daddy Issues Red.

That color really announces itself.

Rossi [to Simmons]

Therapist: I want you to have one normal conversation with one normal person then come back and tell me about it.
Reid: Or I could come up with a plan about what I was going to say before I actually execute it ...
Therapist: Just do it.

Prentiss: Luke, are you OK?
Alvez: I'm fine. I won't need any caffeine for a while, though.

Deviate from video games at your own risk.

Rossi [to Simmons]

Criminal Minds Quotes

They mess you up, your mom and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had, and add some extra, just for you - Philip Larkin.

Hotch

Hotch: A sniper can wait up to 72 hours without sleeping.
Mays: Seriously?
Rossi: That's part of their training. They can stay awake for 72 hours and remain completely focused on their target.
Mays: How?
Hotch: By using a mental exercise called "fantasy integration". A sniper creates a scenarios involving a target that keeps that person at the forefront of their mind.
Morgan: Often they'll imagine a place where they're with the target, doing something together that takes time. For example, building a car.
JJ: For some, the fantasy begins the minute they're assigned a target. Then nothing will distract them.