I love pretzels, they are a funky treat for teens.


Heather: We already had a wedding.
Hector: Well I know, and it was sweet. But now we can have another wedding with the people we love.
Heather: Oh, you're one of those.
Hector: You mean a person?

A gap year! I did one of those, so did Malia Obama. She went to South and Central America and learned a lot about herself. I went to Arkansas to help my aunt raise her five kids after her husband put a gun in his mouth. I learned a lot about myself too, my tubes are tied.


I've been meaning to talk to you about some of the things I did also. When I moved in with you but acted like we were casual, that was gaslighting.


There are so many different professions that don't turn you into Jeff Sessions.


Hector, I'm sorry I missed Hocus Pocus, I was masturbating for five hours.


Paula: You ran off to go death camping.
Nathaniel: That is offensive, don't call it that. I went concentration camping.

Yeah, she flushes her tampons, but that is like the worst thing I could say about her.


Paula: Hon, have you been online today?
Rebecca: That's a terrifying sentence.

Paula: If you don't wake up now and confess to everything, I am going to call Princeton and tell them to take back your degree.
Trent: Actually, I went to school in Boston.

Look, Josh, I really respect your search for self but these are actual disorders people suffer from and you're treating it like you're just identity shopping.


Paula: The good news is that I'm getting you out of here and I will probably do that before you do Cats.
Rebecca: I would never do Cats. Come on, I'm not that much of a dork.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Quotes

Rebecca: Where are you from again?
Josh: West Covina, California. 91791!
Rebecca: West Covina, I remember that. That's near the beach, right?
Josh: Yeah, only two hours...well, four in traffic.

Dear God, I don't pray to you because I believe in science. But I don't know what to do. Give me guidance, please. Ah-men. A-men. Amen?

Rebecca Bunch