I love pretzels, they are a funky treat for teens.

Tucker

Heather: We already had a wedding.
Hector: Well I know, and it was sweet. But now we can have another wedding with the people we love.
Heather: Oh, you're one of those.
Hector: You mean a person?

A gap year! I did one of those, so did Malia Obama. She went to South and Central America and learned a lot about herself. I went to Arkansas to help my aunt raise her five kids after her husband put a gun in his mouth. I learned a lot about myself too, my tubes are tied.

Maya

I've been meaning to talk to you about some of the things I did also. When I moved in with you but acted like we were casual, that was gaslighting.

Josh

There are so many different professions that don't turn you into Jeff Sessions.

Jim

Hector, I'm sorry I missed Hocus Pocus, I was masturbating for five hours.

Rebecca

Paula: You ran off to go death camping.
Nathaniel: That is offensive, don't call it that. I went concentration camping.

Yeah, she flushes her tampons, but that is like the worst thing I could say about her.

Heather

Paula: Hon, have you been online today?
Rebecca: That's a terrifying sentence.

Paula: If you don't wake up now and confess to everything, I am going to call Princeton and tell them to take back your degree.
Trent: Actually, I went to school in Boston.

Look, Josh, I really respect your search for self but these are actual disorders people suffer from and you're treating it like you're just identity shopping.

Heather

Paula: The good news is that I'm getting you out of here and I will probably do that before you do Cats.
Rebecca: I would never do Cats. Come on, I'm not that much of a dork.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Quotes

Rebecca: Where are you from again?
Josh: West Covina, California. 91791!
Rebecca: West Covina, I remember that. That's near the beach, right?
Josh: Yeah, only two hours...well, four in traffic.

Dear God, I don't pray to you because I believe in science. But I don't know what to do. Give me guidance, please. Ah-men. A-men. Amen?

Rebecca Bunch