Darryl: I like women. I like sleeping with women. I like the way that they smell, I like the way that they..the feel of their skin. I like their bird-like voices...I mean, does that sound gay?
White Josh: Nope. That sounds like a serial killer.

I'm telling you, that bitch cray.

Valencia

Darryl: Oh my god, could I be...
Class Member: Bye!
Class Member: Bye!
Class Member: Bye!
Class Member: Bye
Aerobics Instructor: You're bi Darryl!
Darryl: What?!

Rebecca and Tenants: No hot water means which means cold showers!
Rebecca: Next thing you know, your kids will be on crack!
Tenants: This makes sense!
Rebecca and Tenants: No hot water means cold, cold showers! And cold showers are the gateway drug to crack...Cold water is drugs!

Dude, are we not friends anymore? Like, are you mad at me? Because, correct me if I'm wrong, it seems like you're scheming behind my back with Valencia. Wow. I'm sorry, don't you have a life? Don't you have a girlfriend?

Rebecca (to Greg)

Josh: I haven't had hot water in, like, weeks. I'm showering with freezing cold water.
Rebecca: No hot water? That's terrible! You should complain!
Josh: Yeah, I don't like to complain about stuff.

Paula: I don’t want another man. I mean, the only thing I’ve been cheating on you with is Rebecca’s love life. She’s so in love and it’s been so intoxicating to witness it in its purest form. I’m addicted.
Scott: Who’s she in love with?
Paula: You really wanna know?
Scott: Yes I do and we’ve got nothing but time right.
Paula: Okay, well what happened was she was working hard at a New York job making dough, but it made her blue…

It’s a textmergency!

Judge

Greg: I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself. There are other ways to get out of this building, but I walked by your patio…
Rebecca: Please Greg; I just want someone to be here with me
Greg: Right. Someone. That’s the problem.

You ruined everything you stupid bitch. You ruined everything you stupid, stupid bitch. You’re just a lying little bitch who ruins things and wants the world to burn. Bitch. You’re a stupid bitch. And lose some weight.

Rebecca

You’re blowing up on social media Father Brah! We all love your Instagram and how you tag everything #hashtagblessed.

Scott

Josh: Sometimes it’s like you don’t understand me, or even believe in me. It sucks.
Valencia: What? Of course I do! I believe that one day you will focus on our future instead of fun stuff.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Quotes

Rebecca: Where are you from again?
Josh: West Covina, California. 91791!
Rebecca: West Covina, I remember that. That's near the beach, right?
Josh: Yeah, only two hours...well, four in traffic.

Dear God, I don't pray to you because I believe in science. But I don't know what to do. Give me guidance, please. Ah-men. A-men. Amen?

Rebecca Bunch