I love being the chosen custodian of your dream.

AJ

Paula: Good morning, Dr. Roth.
Dr. Roth: It is before noon.

Josh: He had sex with a bush.
Greg: In my defense, it looked like a lady.

Let's go on a slide backwards!

Rebecca

I still get a very heavy period. It's like the Earth cracking open and a hot lava.

Paula

You have very powerful feelings for Greg ... and waterslides.

Dr. Akopian

I napped once, it was 1983.

Paula

Well I am glad you’re happy, I really am. And it makes me happy too, it does.

Nathaniel

And FYI I have opinions and a brain, I know that makes me hard to love.

Maya

Look at that guy. We were gym buddies and then I was busy being a nice person and then he jumped in there, and I mean in there literally.

Nathaniel

Greg: I stopped by to say hi, I missed you.
Rebecca: But we just hung out like an hour ago.
Greg: Exactly.

Speak softly. Feed frequent snacks. Give them something to suck on? Wow, you know some of this works for adults too.

Greg

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Quotes

Rebecca: Where are you from again?
Josh: West Covina, California. 91791!
Rebecca: West Covina, I remember that. That's near the beach, right?
Josh: Yeah, only two hours...well, four in traffic.

Dear God, I don't pray to you because I believe in science. But I don't know what to do. Give me guidance, please. Ah-men. A-men. Amen?

Rebecca Bunch