Heather: You’re here! How long will you be here?
Valencia: The rest of the series. Of holidays, I mean.

Heather: Also using your sexual fluidity as a red herring? Baller move.
Valencia: My pronouns tracked, that was you. Check your assumptions.

You’re a great replacement for Brendan. A great listener and you didn’t ruin my vagina.

Paula

It’s because I’m drunk and sad and I want you to stop pointing at women.

Valencia

We have seasons in LA. T-shirt, sweatshirt, puffer and tank top.

Josh

That’s Jason, I’ve been on a date with him. He had these greasy smelly balls.

Rebecca

What? You think I don’t have a google alert for Rebecca Bunch? You think that I’m not reading the comments section of the Daily Covina?

Naomi

Want a doughnut? I told the man to put the most fattening ones in there.

Nathaniel

How was everyone’s weekend? I went to a pumpkin patch with my mom. She was a little surprised by the invite but I have a cute photo.

Nathaniel

I was at Kate Middleton’s wedding and we barely speak anymore.

Nathaniel

Doing baby laundry makes me want to cry.

Darryl

Here is your burger and cabbage. They call it the No One Wants That.

Heather

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Quotes

Rebecca: Where are you from again?
Josh: West Covina, California. 91791!
Rebecca: West Covina, I remember that. That's near the beach, right?
Josh: Yeah, only two hours...well, four in traffic.

Dear God, I don't pray to you because I believe in science. But I don't know what to do. Give me guidance, please. Ah-men. A-men. Amen?

Rebecca Bunch