Thursdays 8:00 PM on NBC

I hate to say I told you so, so I'll shout it through cupped hands.


Troy: You should be like Calvin. His best friend was a tiger, he always went on dope adventures, and if anything stood in his way, he just peed on it.
Pierce: Calvin Coolidge?

Don't be Mike Brady. Mike Brady's not sexy. You should be like Jo from Facts of Life.


I can't think of anything more frightening than a half-Polish, half-Arab virgin in his thirties. One way or another, that ends with an explosion.


Coach: You're not in uniform
Jeff: Yeah about that. We seriously have to play pool in shorts?
Coach: If you play in this class it's regulation.
Jeff: Regulation pool or regulation you?

Troy: Abed, what are you doing?
Abed: Being myself.
Troy: Go be yourself by Jenny.
Abed: I wouldn't go over there.
Pierce: How do you know that?
Abed: A lifetime of observation mostly.

It's just like the Notebook, only instead of Alzheimer's, Abed has ... someone who likes him.


Oh it's a drawing of Abed with hearts all around it. Strictly speaking, the bible condemns this level of friendship.

Displaying all 8 quotes