Wesley: My. She's cheeky, isn't she?
Faith: Uh, first word: jail. Second word: bait.

Wesley: Buffy, you will go to the Gleaves family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.
Buffy: I will?
Wesley: Are you not used to being given orders?
Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says “please.” And afterwards I get a cookie.
[She smiles at Giles]

Buffy: That's the job. What else can we do?
Faith: Whatever we want! We're Slayers, girlfriend. The Chosen Two. Why should we let him take all the fun out of it?
Buffy: That'd be tragic, taking all the fun out of slaying and stabbing and beheading.
Faith: Oh, like you don't dig it.
Buffy: I don't.
Faith: Liar. I've seen you. Tell me staking a vamp doesn't get you a little bit juiced. Say it.
[Buffy looks aways]
Faith: Ah! Can't fool me. The look in your eyes right after a kill. Just get hungry for more.
Buffy: You are way off base.
Faith: Tell me that if you don't get in a good slaying, after a while you start itching for some vamp to show up so you can give him a good...
[Faith makes a stabbing sound and grunts]
Buffy: Again with the grunting. I'm not comfortable with that.
Faith: Hey, slaying is what we're built for. If you're not enjoying it, you're doing something wrong.

Balthazar: You know what I want.
Giles: If it's for me to scrub those hard-to-reach areas, I'd like to request you kill me now.

Wesley: I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself, under controlled circumstances, of course.
Giles: No danger of finding those here.
Wesley: Vampires?
Giles: Controlled circumstances.

Xander: Listen, do you guys need any help?
Giles: Hmm? Oh, no, no, thank you. Probably best if you stay out of trouble.
Xander: No chance of that.
Jack: Xander! Motor!
Giles: There's something different about this menace, something in the air. The stench of death.
Xander: Yeah, I think it's Bob.

Xander: Yeah, great knife. Although, I think, um, it may, technically, be a sword.
Jack: She's called Katie.
Xander: You gave it a girl's name. How very serial killer of you.

Cordelia: It must be really hard when all your friends have, like, superpowers. Slayer, werewolf, witches, vampires, and you're, like, this little nothing. You must feel like Jimmy Olsen.
Xander: I was just talking to... hey, mind your own business.
Cordelia: Oh, I struck a nerve. The boy that had no cool.
Xander: I happen to be an integral part of that group. I happen to have a lot to offer.
Cordelia: Oh, please.
Xander: I do.
Cordelia: Integral part of the group? Xander, you're the useless part of the group. You're the Zeppo. “Cool.” Look it up. It's something that a sub-literate that's repeated twelfth grade three times has, and you don't.
[Cordelia walks away]
Cordelia: There was no part of that that wasn't fun.

Willow: And if it opens?
Buffy: Do you remember the demon that almost got out the night I died?
Willow: Every nightmare I have that doesn't revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test and naked.
Buffy: Well, it'll be the first to come out.

If I was at full slayer power, I'd be punning right about now.

Kralik: Mother. May I call you "mother"? My own mother was a person with no self-respect of her own, so she tried to take mine. Ten years old, she had the scissors. You wouldn't believe what she took with those. But she's dead to me now. Mostly because I killed and ate her, but also because I know I won't be alone much longer. I'll have your daughter. I won't kill her, I'll just make her like me. Different. She'll go to sleep, and when she wakes up, your face will be the first thing she eats.
[He stops to think over his comment to Joyce]
Kralik: I have a problem with mothers. I'm aware of that.

Your affection for your charge has rendered you incapable of clear and impartial judgment. You have a father's love for the child, and that is useless to the cause.

Quentin

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes

Buffy: So that's it, huh? I remember the drill: one slayer dies, the next one's called. I wonder who she is. Will you train her or will they send someone else?
Giles: Buffy, I...
Buffy: Does it say how he's gonna kill me? Do you think it'll hurt?
[Angel walks to her and she moves]
Buffy: Don't touch me! Were you even gonna tell me?
Giles: I was hoping I wouldn't have to, that there was some way around it.
Buffy: I've got a way around it: I quit.
Giles: It's not that simple.
Buffy: I'm making it that simple! I quit! I resign! I'm fired! You can find someone else to stop The Master from taking over.
Giles: I'm not sure that anyone else can. All the signs indicate...
Buffy: Signs?
[She throws books at him]
Buffy: Read me the signs! Tell me my fortune! You're so useful, sitting here with all of your books! You're really a lot of help!
Giles: No, I don't suppose I am.
Angel: I know this is hard.
Buffy: What do you know about this? You're never gonna die.
Angel: You think I want anything to happen to you? Do you think I could stand it? We just gotta figure out a way...
Buffy: I already did. I quit, remember? Pay attention.
Giles: Buffy, if The Master rises...
Buffy: I don't care! I don't care. Giles, I'm 16 years old. I don't wanna die.

Cordelia: You'll be okay here. If you hang with me and mine, you'll be accepted in no time. Of course, we do have to test your coolness factor. You're from L.A., so you can skip the written. So let's see...vamp nail polish?
Buffy: Over?
Cordelia: So over. James Spader?
Buffy: He needs to call me!
Cordelia: Frappachinos?
Buffy: Trendy but tasty.
Cordelia: Josh Tesh.
Buffy: The devil.
Cordelia: That was pretty much a gimme, but you passed!