Jake: It's a tarantula! I call him Jake Jr, a.k.a. Spidey Klum, a.k.a. Mrs Doubtspider, a.k.a. Joe Spiden, a.k.a. Tarantula Bassett, a.k.a. Spidermot Mulroney.
Charles: a.k.a. Tarantulina Jolie.
Jake: Charles, have you seen it? That's a terrible name.

It's horrifying from everywhere. Terry hates creepy crawlies.

Terry

Gina: Putting up a bunch of photos of smiling cops isn't going to change how people feel about us.
Holt: I think this campaign is very promising. Santiago, what's your take?
Gina: Oh right, let's hear an unbiased opinion from your straight up swimfan.

Rosa: Sarge, permission to arrest Hitchcock and Scully.
Terry: I've told you before, it's not harassment unless you can prove intent to fart.

They robbed me. They ate my Moose Tracks icecream.

Rosa

Rosa: Step 1, put a delicious pie in the fridge and cover it with poison.
Terry: That's step 1? What's step 2?
Rosa: Tell their widows they were thieves.

Jake: Okay Charles, let's free an innocent woman.
Charles: Nice! My dreams are coming true. You and me, getting my lady off together.
Jake: I mean, you know how that sounds, right?

This campaign, like three-out-of-five Backstreet Boys, is inconsequential.

Gina

Rosa: You, hungry hungry hippos, ate my icecream. Why was this in your trash?!
Terry: And who throws away a spoon? It's the easiest utensil to clean!

Charles: "My hunch, my hunch, my lovely casey hunch!" Sing with me.
Jake: That's not gonna happen, I will literally never -- "What you gonna do with all that hunch, all that hunch inside your brain!"
Charles and Jake: "We're gonna solve, solve, solve this case, solve this case right in your face!"

Jake: Anything is art. A statue of Jesus made out of cigarette butts. Boom, I'm a millionaire.
Charles: That's actually pretty good.
Jake: I know. I could call it "Holy Smokes."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 3 Quotes

Charles: "My hunch, my hunch, my lovely casey hunch!" Sing with me.
Jake: That's not gonna happen, I will literally never -- "What you gonna do with all that hunch, all that hunch inside your brain!"
Charles and Jake: "We're gonna solve, solve, solve this case, solve this case right in your face!"

It's horrifying from everywhere. Terry hates creepy crawlies.

Terry