White Power Bill: (hits man with pipe) I have worse plans for you if you keep trying to convert my team!
George Sr.: Ok, hold it, hold ... Hold it now ... Now, I'm doing no such thing; both of our religions have a lot to offer. There's the Jewish notion of heaven, and that it can be attained here on Earth. And there is your belief ... In the cleansing power of the pipe.

Lindsay: Dad hired me out of college.
Michael: You quit college.
Lindsay: Yeah, well, I had a job. What was the point?

Well, you and I have different management styles. I believe work should be fun, and you try to crush people's spirits. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?


(to Gob) Chickens don't clap!


I went to beach once. Next thing you know, I in crate next to pig.


Tobias: All right, let's discuss this bunking situation!
White Power Bill: You're gonna be sleepin' under me for a while.
George Sr: (to Tobias) I sold you for a pack of cigarettes.

Tobias: Lindsay, say something to scare me.
Lindsay: F*** me.
Tobias: Nope, nothing. Thanks for trying, though.

Michael: You get a paycheck from the Bluth Company?
Lucille: Well, it's important to the company that I keep up the image of my lifestyle.
Michael: Illusion, Mom.

Gob: I hope you're up to this, Buster! This is a game of courage! A game for men!
Buster: Yeah, well, it's a game I'm ready for! Uh-oh. My seat doesn't have a cushion.

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