Lindsay: Yeah, check it out. I found that canned ham that we'd had forever, and I put it in a pot of boiling water, and guess what I'm calling it?
Michael: Soup?
Lindsay: Hot ham water.

George Michael: OCD? No, I'm just cleaning up after Aunt Lindsay. She never turns things off.
Michael: Well ... guess that explains why I saw the hedge trimmer zipping around the drive-way. I did it again, didn't I? I'm so self-centered. From now on, I want you to just tell me what's on your mind, ok? And I promise I won't just hear what I want to hear.
George Michael: I love my cousin.
Michael: Love you, too, pal.

Tobias: All right, I'll listen to this later. And don't tell me where you've been. It'll just make me worry more. But guess what? There's a new daddy in town.
Music: A new daddy in town ...
Tobias: A discipline daddy.
Music: A discipline daddy ... Gonna spank your behind, uh-huh ...
Tobias: Oh, it's a ... it's a parenting tape.

Tonight, an Arrested Development you can't miss. A cavalcade of stars. The shocking final moments will be presented live! And one of these people ... will die!

Narrator

George: Well, I don't think the Home Builder's Organization is gonna be supporting us.
Michael: Yeah, the HBO is not gonna want us. What are we gonna do now?
Oscar: Well, I think it's Showtime.

Now that's a clear situation with the promise of comedy. Tell your friends about this show!

Narrator

Michael: It's just hard to accept that it's really come to begging.
George: Sometimes, it's the only way to stay in the game.
Narrator: Please tell your friends about this show!

George Michael: Um, will this go toward my grade?
Donnie Richter: (laughs) We don't have grades here. A student either learns and gets an "L" or they fluctuate in their learning.
George Michael: And what do we get for that?
Donnie Richter: (bluntly) An "F".

... and so, Gob accidently worked a day in his life.

Narrator
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