I want to cry so badly, but I don't think I can spare the moisture.


It's a jet-pack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong?


Michael: The whole thing is a scam. Mom was just using that warden to try to get Dad out. She's not trying to seduce him at all.
Lindsay: Oh, no, she is. She's spending the night with him. She just called to ask me to bring her a tube of vag ... table paste.

Michael: Mom wants to sleep with the warden.
Gob: What? Oh, God!
Lindsay: Great.
Michael: Great? The man is old enough to be her contemporary, Lindsay.

Tobias: Oh, come on. Don't leave your Uncle T-Bag hanging!
George Michael: Please don't call yourself that.

I don't need to take my Mom to a gala, ok? Only losers go to those things with their parents. I'm going with my son.


(talking about the camera) Oh, no! It was on stand by! Think you could do that again?

</i> Gob

The new facility's pretty nice. It's like school ... but air-conditioned.

George Michael

(after a failed allusion) I don't know why I always assume that everyone has read my screenplay.

Warden Gentles

Arrested Development Season 3 Episode 7 Quotes

Lucille: I'm trying to seduce him.
Michael: Who's the "I" in that sentence?
Lucille: Me.
Michael: You?
Narrator: Her.

Michael: You're planning an escape.
George Sr.: How dare you? I oughta shave your head and make you sit under that camera all night, mister.