Lindsay: I care deeply for nature.
Michael: You're wearing ostrich-skin boots.
Lindsay: Well, I don't care about ostriches.

Narrator: And Lucille was mingling with the elite of the Latino Television Academy.
Lucille: Can I get a vodka tonic, please? I'd like a vodka tonic, please. Vodka tonic, please. A sea of waiters, and no one will take a drink order.

Lucille: I'll be in the hospital bar.
Michael: Uh, you know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother.
Lucille: Well, this is why people hate hospitals.

Lucille: When's the last time you went on a date?
Michael: I just haven't met anybody who's not completely self-absorbed and impossible to have a conversation with.
Lucille: If that's a veiled criticism about me, I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.

Get out of our f***ing tree.

Lindsay

Lindsay: I've always been very passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest?
Michael: Oh, I'll never forget your wedding.

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