That's one of the things that attracted me to you; your sense of right and wrong. I also like your hair and your face and your breasts.

Michael

What is wrong with you? I thought you were good people. I thought you were noble. I thought you care about family, but you clearly don't. It's over. Both of you. It's over.

Marta

Barry: What are you doing? They'll add ten years to your sentence.
George, Sr.: They'll never catch me!

Lucille: Look, you're my husband, and you belong back at home with me.
George, Sr.: You really love me.
Lucille: Call it what you want. I'm tired of paying Lupe to clean one dish.

Maeby: I'm glad to have this family, you know. 'Cause I know I said some bad stuff, but it's much better here than it was in Boston. And I have a cousin here, so even if my parents do get divorced, I have you, right?
Narrator: George Michael realized that no matter how much it upset him, he didn't want to take Maeby's family away from her.
George Michael: Yeah, you got us all right.
Maeby: Now, all I need is a boyfriend.

(about Maeby) She's not real. She was made in a cup. Like soup. $130,000 cup of soup.

Lucille

Buster: So, are you going to hit me?
Gob: No, I'm not going to hit you. You're not the brother Marta's cheating on me with.
Buster: Oh, who is?
Gob: How should I know, Buster?

Buster: Well, I would never, uh, do this while you were still going out, but, uh ... if you're done with her, I'd sure like a crack at her.
Gob: Right, right ... That sounds great. Go for it, buddy ... But you know that she's kind of used to being with me, right? So ... it would be sort of like going from prime rib to, I don't know, weird brother of prime rib.

Lucille: Why haven't you called me back? I'm worried about your father's hearing.
Michael: Mom, listen, it's going to be fine. I'm on it, ok? I'm taking care of it. I'll be there first thing Friday morning.
Lucille: It's tomorrow at 4:30!
Michael: Oh, I should write that down.

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