Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 13: "Beef Consomme" Quotes
Buster: So, are you going to hit me?
Gob: No, I'm not going to hit you. You're not the brother Marta's cheating on me with.
Buster: Oh, who is?
Gob: How should I know, Buster?
Buster: Well, I would never, uh, do this while you were still going out, but, uh ... if you're done with her, I'd sure like a crack at her.
Gob: Right, right ... That sounds great. Go for it, buddy ... But you know that she's kind of used to being with me, right? So ... it would be sort of like going from prime rib to, I don't know, weird brother of prime rib.
Lucille: Why haven't you called me back? I'm worried about your father's hearing.
Michael: Mom, listen, it's going to be fine. I'm on it, ok? I'm taking care of it. I'll be there first thing Friday morning.
Lucille: It's tomorrow at 4:30!
Michael: Oh, I should write that down.
Buster: Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. That's what I did in high school when I almost got into a fight.
Michael: I think that was about being attacked by bears.
Michael: Gob, there's no need for violence. There never is. I'd like to think that we're all, you know, intelligent, mature ... um ... adults that can settle their differences, whenever they come to light, through words.
Gob: Yeah, well, I let my fists do the talking. Not this one, 'cause obviously, I need it for coin tricks and stuff. But this one, I let it speak for both of them.
Maeby: Don't talk to me about my mom. She's crazy. Both of them are. Sometimes, I wish we weren't even related.
George Michael: Hey, you know, maybe we're not. Because when you think about it, we don't really even look like each other.
Maeby: No, I was talking about my parents. God, what's wrong with this family?!
Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, Tobias quietly overcompensates.
(Tobias enters the dining room, where Michael, Lindsey, Buster, and GOB are having breakfast, totally nude and streaching his arms)
Tobias: Please, tell me there's some coffee left. (Pours a cup of coffee.) I slept very well last night. (Kisses Lindsey on the cheek and leaves.)