Baz: That's a nice outfit. What is it, polyester?
Smurf: It's a blend. Doesn't stain.

You're you J. Not whatever nasty sperm raped its way into your mom's eggs.

Nicky

Keep your eye on Pope. Sometimes he hurts people.

Smurf

Pope: Are you worried about Baz?
J: Should I be?
Pope: Yeah.

Deran: Are you okay?
Smurf: Do I look okay?

Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if we were born into a different family?

Craig

Pope: Where's Smurf, man?
Baz: Smurf's in jail.
Pope: What?
Baz: Yeah. Jail.

Smurf didn't save me. The damage was done.

Baz

I'm angry all the time.

J

Deran: Any time I'm remotely good at something, it can't be mine, it has to be hours.
Craig: What are you talking about? Surfing?
Deran: No, we're not talking about surfing.
Craig: The only reason you got into that was because of me. I drove you to each and every one of your tournaments -- wherever they were --
Deran: You drove me so that you could tell the girls you were my coach so they would sleep with you. That's why. Then I had to clean up your puke and drive your drunk ass home at 14 years old.

Families are complicated, right?

Smurf

You always need to have cash on hand. Keeps you mobile. Adaptable. Without cash you're vulnerable.

Smurf

Animal Kingdom Quotes

May we all get what we want and never what we deserve.

Smurf

Craig: I guess we're Lutheran. Who knew?
Daren: It must have been the cheapest.