2 Broke Girls Quotes
Caroline: Dammit, I got a straight one.
Max: What makes you think he's straight
Caroline: He keeps pushing my head down before I'm ready.
The Pill's like 50 bucks a month, that's more than it costs to raise a damn baby.
Max
Wait Max, can I hold the million? For just one more second I want to be upper middle class.
Caroline
Deke, you can’t be my boyfriend. From now on, I’m like Welfare. You have to be broke to get some.
Max
Han: Be careful, you’re the very first.
Max: We know how long you've been waiting to say that to a woman.
Max: I’ll be right back. If you mess up our batter, I’ll cut your thing off.
Deke: Sweet, I could stand to lose 5 pounds.
Deke: You were amazing. I love you.
Max: I love you too.
Max: If you ever interrupt me while studying…
Deke: And having sex.
Max: again, I will drop kick your baby powered ass back to the shire with the other hobbits.
Han: I told her.
Caroline: Did you?!
You know, I once had sex on a bus and I was driving it. Oh...... were those kids late to school.
Sophie
Sophie: I just heard two hobos getting freaking in the garbage.
Caroline: Sophie, that was Max and Deke.
Max: You live in a dumpster?
Deke: This is usually where the girl says she has to be up early tomorrow or calls the police. So do you have to go?
Max: Yeah. I have to go inside that freaking cool dumpster!
Max: I’m willing to throw 10-15 dollars at this thing.
Deke: You want to throw 15 dollars at my thing? Great! I usually charge five.
