Caroline: Can’t you go to Deke’s place without me, I’m too down in the dumps.
Max: Then what better place to be than in the dumpster?

Ain’t no party like a Caroline party ‘cause a Caroline party don’t start.


You get the weed. I‘ll get the other weed.


Caroline: Are the owner of this establishment?
Blarney Bill: I’m not even the owner of these pants!

Max: I thought you wanted to keep your skirt wearing on the low-low.
Earl: That’s before I discovered the sensation of a cool breeze circling my bag and my pipe.

Caroline: Max, I'm sorry if I rained on your parade today. Well, peed on it.
Max: Don't worry about it. Everything that means something to me gets peed on

Rest in pee, Caroline.


Drunk Chick: Guys, I just threw up.
Caroline: And you're carrying it around like a baby chick?

But we worked so hard, I have so much green under my fingernails, it looks like I had really good sex with Shrek.


I’ve hit some very low points today, but I’m not about to pee through a paper penis in public.


Caroline: Max, we haven't been so busy since someone spray painted "free sex stuff" on the wall outside.
Max: And you said I'm not good at marketing

Caroline: I am such a bad judge of character.
Max: Of course you are, I'm your best friend.

2 Broke Girls Quotes

You think this (clicking the fingers) is the sound that gets you service, I think that´s the sound that dries up my vagina.


Hey, when you get a second, stop staring at my boobs.