Admiral: Calm down, Ed, and be professional about this
Mercer: Oh, please, there is nothing at all professional about this situation, okay? This is my ex-wife who I have not seen since my divorce a year ago after I walked in on her bangin' a Retepsian.
Admiral: I know this isn't ideal but she is the only qualified Ex O available and the staff profile compatibility program indicated your skill sets complement hers.
Mercer: Oh, it did? See if your compatibility program can get blue out of a white lampshade.

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The Orville Season 1 Episode 1: "Old Wounds"
The Orville
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The Orville Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Mercer: I know Gordon has his issues but we all know that there's nobody that can drive a starship like him.
Admiral: Didn't he once draw a penis on the main viewing screen of Outpost T-85?
Mercer: He's drawn a lot of penises on a lot of things.

Mercer: I've had some personal stuff that's been going on... It's not really worth going into... Can I have one of these mints?
Admiral: Those are marbles.