Lorelai: Max, they're teenagers. They can kiss a little bit.
Max: Okay, well, what do I do if Rory comes home drunk?
Lorelai: Come on!
Max: It happens.
Lorelai: Not to Rory it doesn't.
Max: I know. But theoretically, just in a make believe world, if she did, what would I do?
Lorelai: Nothing.
Max: Excuse me?
Lorelai: No, you would do nothing. I would handle it.
Max: So basically, I have no role in Rory's life.
Lorelai: Max, Rory's done. She's brought up, she's Rory. You don't need a role.
Max: Fine.
Lorelai: I don't see the problem here.
Max: Clearly. So, I should do nothing around here ever.
Lorelai: No, not nothing ever.
Max: What then?
Lorelai: Well, making the garlic bread the other night was really good.

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Lorelai Gilmore, Max Medina
Gilmore Girls Season 2 Episode 3: "Red Light on the Wedding Night"
Gilmore Girls
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Gilmore Girls Season 2 Episode 3 Quotes

(about Max knowing his way around the kitchen)
Rory: He has much knowledge.
Lorelai: We shall form a cult around him.
Rory: Build a statue many stories high.
Lorelai: We shall grow our hair long and stop bathing.

Rory: Oh, I printed up some sample invitations for you. I made them on my computer.
Lorelai: Awww.
Rory: All you have to do is pick out a quote for the front page, and I'll print them up.
Lorelai: Okay. Um "What is love? It is the morning and the evening star." Ugh.
Rory: Sinclair Lewis.
Lorelai: Sinclair Sappy Lewis.
Rory: Fine, next.
Lorelai: "And all went merry as a marriage bell. But hush! Hark! A deep sound strikes like a rising knell!" What is it with poetry?
Rory: Lord Byron.
Lorelai: Byron and Lewis, together again.
Rory: Okay, last one.
Lorelai: "We have buried the putrid corpse of liberty." Perfect!
Rory: Mussolini it is.