Lorelai: Look, I'm giving these paper-topped turkeyheads 3 seconds to seat us, or I swear I'm gonna start...
Waitress: Two?
Lorelai: Yes, please!
Rory: You're gonna what?
Lorelai: What?
Rory: You said you were gonna do something if somebody didn't seat us in 3 seconds
Lorelai: I did?
Rory: Yes, you did. And then the waitress came and you never finished saying what you were gonna do.
Lorelai: Honey, we've gotta get some food into you, you're imagining things!
Rory: What were you gonna do?
Lorelai: Shh, you're getting screwy!
Rory: Mom!
Lorelai: Mom? I'm not your mom, do you need help little girl?
Rory: Oh my God!


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Characters:
Lorelai Gilmore, Rory Gilmore
Episode:
Gilmore Girls Season 2 Episode 20: "Help Wanted"
Show:
Gilmore Girls
Related Quotes:
Lorelai Gilmore Quotes, Rory Gilmore Quotes, Gilmore Girls Season 2 Episode 20 Quotes, Gilmore Girls Quotes
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Gilmore Girls Season 2 Episode 20 Quotes

(Lane goes into Sophie's Music and is unseen going to the back of the store.)
Kirk: (hands resume to Sophie) That's my home phone number, my cell number, my pager number, and there's a partial list of references.
Sophie: Yeah, okay, I'll hang onto this, but as I said before we just opened so I'm not really looking to hire anybody right now.
Kirk: I am licensed to carry a gun if that will help.
Sophie: (sarcastically) You have no idea how much.
(Lane is looking at some instruments and is just about to touch a guitar.)
Sophie: May I help you?
Lane: Oh no thank you I was just looking.
Sophie: We like the looking. It's the touching we're a little iffy on.
Lane: Actually I was just going to (bumps into a cello)-ooh! That probably would have been considered as touching, wouldn't it?
Sophie: (sighing) Yes.
Lane: (sees a red drum set) Oh my...
Sophie: That's a DW drum set with Zildjian cymbals.
Lane: It's beautiful.
Sophie: You play?
Lane: Oh no, I wish.
Sophie: Sit.
Lane: What?
Sophie: Sit down, see how it feels.
Lane: Oh no, I couldn't.
Sophie: Why? Your legs don't bend?
Lane: No they bend.
Sophie: Okay, if they bend, then bend them.
Lane: Well, okay. (sits down on stool) This is a good stool.
Sophie: Yes, it is. Here. (hands Lane a set of drum sticks) You can't sit down at a drum set without your sticks.
Lane: Right, 'cause that would be stupid.
Sophie: And remember, no touching.
Lane: Right. (pretends to hit the drums without making noise)
Sophie: You look good.
Lane: Thanks.
Sophie: (laughs and leaves)

Babette: Oh! Rory, Sweety! Hold on there, baby.
Rory: Hey, Babette. Is everything okay?
Babette: I should be asking you that question. Come here. Let me see that arm. Oh, you poor little thing. How you doin', huh?
Rory: I'm doing fine.
Babette: Ah, look at ya' being brave like that after all you've been through. Geeze! It's so hard being a woman! Isn't it?
Rory: I guess.
Babette: I mean you got your morals and your standards and your good common sense and then, BAM! You meet some guy and then all that goes right out the window.
Rory: But...
Babette: For every good woman, there's a dirty little wolf just ready to lead her astray. you can't help it. He's got the eyes, the chin, chest hair you could carpet your dining room with. What's a woman to do? We're not made of steal for God's sakes.
Rory: Babette...
Babette: I was in a cult once. Did I tell you that?
Rory: No!
Babette: I met this guy once, gorgeous, tan, looked just like Mickey Hargitay. We had coffee. He gave me a pamphlet. Next thing you know, I'm wearin' a moomoo playing the tambourine jumping up and down at the airport.
Rory: Okay, I really have to get inside.
Babette: Oh, sure hon, sure. You go take good care of yourself, and don't be embarrassed toots. This has happened to all of us.