It’s not what you think. Harper has a new boyfriend and wanted to practice kissing. The next thing I knew she went all Twilight on my neck even though she knows I’m team Jacob.


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The Conners Season 2 Episode 19: "CPAPs, Hickeys and Biscuits"
The Conners
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The Conners Season 2 Episode 19 Quotes

I figured since hot dogs are our family’s main source of food and we regularly have the power turned off that this would be worth learning.


Ed: What’s a CPAP mask?
Dan: It’s a mask attached to a hose that forces air down my throat so I don’t stop breathing in the middle of the night.
Ed: So you look like Tom Cruise in Top Gun if he was an old man who couldn’t breathe on his own.