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Ncis

McGee: Not a hacker, either.
Ziva: How do you know?
McGee: My firewall hasn't been penetrated.
Tony: Lubricant helps, but everybody has dry spots.
(Ziva laughs)

Ziva: I did not know you were a pool dolphin, Tony.
Tony: Pool shark. And yes, I was.

(Ziva, Tony and McGee are discussing Ziva's vacation with her elusive boyfriend)
McGee: So when do we get to meet him? And please tell us his name!
Tony: Oh no! Please, let me guess. Zeus? Er...Thor?
Ziva: His name is Ray.
Tony: Ray! What a nice little name! Ray, like Ray Crocker, Ray Charles, Sugar Ray...
Ziva: Erm...I promise you, Ray is a good man.
(Tony smiles at her jokingly before he realises she is being serious)

(Ziva walks into the squad room)
Tony: Ah, thought you were in Miami? You look... positively alpine.
Ziva: He came to me. We went skiing again, this time to Vermont.
Tony: (Laughs) Vermont! That's... so quaint! They have all those lovely little country inns and cozy fires and sticky maple syrup that gets everywhere.
Ziva: He enjoys nature, and I discovered that he's a fantastic cook. He made this delicious osso buco.
Tony: Aren't you lucky? So, he's a real renaissance man?
Ziva: He is an experienced man who knows how to appreciate life. There is a difference.

Tony: What's goin' on here? We being replaced by younger models?
Ziva: I am a younger model.
Tony: If that was intended to hurt me you've succeeded.
Ziva: And we are not being replaced. They are from Waverly University.
Tony: Oh yeah. That's right. Director Vance's internship program. It's not a good idea. Feeds McGee's need to have groupies.

That is why it is called a batnap.

Tony: Agent McGee, probationary agent to be good morning.
Ziva: Looks like Tony.
McGee: Doesn't sound like him.

Tony: Maybe instead of having a midlife crisis, I'm having a midlife crazy.
Ziva: Look, you are not crazy. You are just... growing up. And some lessons are more painful as we grow older, because the stakes are higher. You need to find balance! Yes, yes, yes, you need to treat people more respectfully, especially when it comes to matters... of the heart. But you need to be who you are.
Tony: And who am I?
Ziva: You are Tony DiNozzo. The class clown. And that is why we love you.

McGee: Hey, where is Boss, anyway?
Malachi: He's in Interrogation.
Liat: With Director David.
Tony: Oh! This is like Clash of the Titans. We should be there.
Ziva: It's a closed show.

Ziva: We cannot really be sure that, because this girl crossed paths with him here yesterday, we will cross paths with him today.
Tony: Also can't be sure that Gibbs will be swilling coffee when we get back to the office, or you'll fumble a simple American expression, or that McGee will sleep alone tonight - but, people do tend to follow patterns.

(Ziva meets Liat Tuvia, her replacement at Mossad)
Ziva: Liat is one of the most common names in Israel.
Liat: Where only the grandmothers are named Ziva.
McGee: So what brings you to D.C.?
Malachi: The cherry blossoms.
McGee: That's in the spring, actually.
Tony: I'm afraid all we have to offer in November are elections and pardoned turkeys. I really like those boots, Liat. Not speaking too fast for you, am I?
Liat: I understand. You're very, uh... tongue-in-ear.
Ziva: She means tongue-in-cheek.
Tony: Don't put words in the girl's mouth.

Malachi: Did you expect we would never "move on" after you left us?
Ziva: You left me!
Tony: Let's not get hung up on who's left, who's right and who's wrong.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 129 in total

NCIS Quotes

You know what your grandpa used to say? Water never forgets. Anyone with a boat named them will live forever. How about that?

Ann Gibbs

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee
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