NCIS

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Ncis
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Tony: How long have you been standing there?
Ziva: Long enough to see that you are well-hydrated after your time in the desert.

McGee: Face it, you think you're too good looking to be the sidekick.
Tony: According to women, I'm too good looking.
Ziva: Actually I find McGee the more handsome.

Ziva: You got captured ... on purpose?
Tony: Yeah.
Ziva: These people are killers, Tony.
Tony: That's why we have to stay alive long enough to not get dead.
Ziva: That would involve getting rescued.
Tony: Yes it would.

Ziva: Dead man is ICE.
Tony: That's cold.

Ziva: He did not get out this way.
Yates: Not unless he could cross a lawn without bending a blade of grass.
Ziva: Well not impossible, with the proper training.

Ziva: Are you jealous?
Tony: (he pauses) No. I'm worried. Because you don't seem to understand that your secret friend is interfering with this agency's ability to shut down a terrorist cell!
Ziva: Interfering? How is he interfering?
Tony: He's already killed two suspects.
Ziva: Well, in my country that would be cause for celebration.
Tony: You're not in your country and neither is he!

Tony: Long distance can be hard. Tell a friend from Tel-Aviv?
Ziva: You're jealous.
Tony: I'm not jealous.
Ziva: Yes you are.
Tony: No I'm not, and I'm not arguing, boss.
McGee: Are to!
Tony: Am not!

Tony: He got a name?
Ziva: Who?
Tony: Star of David.
Ziva: Oh him, yes he has a name.
Tony: Trevor? Bruce? Marmaduke?
Ziva: Michael.
Tony: Um, he sounded more like a Bruce than a Michael on the phone.

Ziva: After out last trip to LA, I do not understand why you would think I would be such an eager platypus, Tony.
Tony: Beaver, eager beaver. Not platypus. (pause) Why does that bother me so much? Don't answer that! (Ziva's cell rings) Answer that!

Ziva: Tony, do you have to do that now?
Tony: It's spring. I'm spring-cleaning, so... yes!
Ziva: Spring-cleaning?
McGee: You don't have spring-cleaning in Isreal?
Ziva: We do not have spring. Israel is a desert.

Ziva: I hit a stone wall.
Tony: Brick wall.
Ziva: No, it was a stone wall. I backed up too quickly.

Ziva: This reminds me of the forests I used to have fun in as a child.
Tony: Find that hard to believe.
Ziva: What? That Israel had forests?
Tony: No, that you had fun as a child.

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 129 in total

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

Tony: You know the "Men" in "Men's Room" is more of a rule than a suggestion, probie.
Bishop: Look, you two always get to go off giggling to the urinal together and I always get left out. So we're going to talk and we're going to do it here.