Will: I'm thinking about leaving my wife.
Sue: Well, I didn't see that one coming at all.

I loved you, Terri. I really loved you.

Will: I should be allowed to feel good about myself.
Terri: This marriage works because you don't feel good about yourself!

Will: Here's the problem with Sue Sylvester: you never quite know where you stand.

Will: You're making her clean our bathroom?
Terri: I've been dealing with these school girl crushes for years. Why shouldn't I get something out of it?

Will: Ballad. Who knows what this word means?
Brittany: It's a male duck.

Kurt: I wanna try out for the Wicked solo.
Will: Kurt, there's a high F for it.
Kurt: That's well within my range.

Your commitment to football is about as long as your pants.

Will: Who's to say everything I do is 100% on the ball?
Sue: No one would say that.

Will: I can't do a song with three people.
Sue: Not with that attitude.

Sue: When you hear your name called, cross over to this side of this black shiny thing.
Will: That's called a piano, Sue.

Principal Figgins: Let's hug it out.
Will: I'd rather not.
Sue: I don't see that happening.

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.