Sorry about my partner. He's been on my edge ever since we switched.

Clean up on aisle busted.

Starburns: Where's the ketchup?
Troy: That doesn't make sense! Ketchup is a condiment!

Pierce: I fell asleep in a sun beam.
Abed: Likely story.
Troy: Actually it is. I used to live with him. It's sort of adorable.

Troy: How did we get the short straw?
Abed: It's not a short straw. It's a hot potato.
Troy: Yeah, well, it looks pretty cold to me.
Abed: Cold or dead?.
Troy: Survey says...
Abed: We can't both do the zinger.

I don't want you to break his brain.

Troy [about Abed]

She was born in the 80s, she still uses her phone as a phone!

Troy [about Britta]

Troy: Vice Dean Laybourne. You have a beard. And a ponytail.
Laybourne : I'm going through some stuff right now, Troy. Don't worry about it.

All difficult things are better. Like carrying a disease. Or holding a fart right now.

If you have anything else do say, say it in a high-pitched voice while walking backwards.

Abed is a magical elf-like man who makes us all more magical by being near him.

Look Abed, you know I'd do anything you did, but I'm a Jehovah's Witness, we're not supposed to celebrate Christmas.

Community Quotes

Ghosts can't go through doors, stupid. They're not fire!


Love is a gamble always, but waiting won't change the dice. Either you roll them or you lose your turn

Shirley [to Annie]