Lynette, I can keep my children alive. When you left this morning, there were four. When you came home, there were still four. When you come home and there are only three, then you get to lecture me.

Tom: What have you done to Mrs. Mulburry?
Lynette: Until there's a body, there's no evidence of a crime.

Lynette: Tom, he attacked a teacher with an umbrella!
Tom: It was a poke, he poked her.

Parker: Daddy! I can't find Mrs. Mulburry's umbrella! Where is it?
Tom: Well, I don't know, sport. Honey, have you seen the umbrella?
Lynette: No.. can't say that I have...
Tom: OK, listen, don't worry about it. I'm sure Mrs. Mulburry's here somewhere.
Lynette: Or... huh...Maybe she's not. She could have... left. You know... maybe she had some other little boy she needed to help.
Parker: Like who?
Lynette: I don't know. It could be.... huh.. a little boy in... England. Named Spencer.
Tom: Lynette...?
Lynette: I mean... it is possible that someone like little Spencer needed Mrs. Mulburry more, 'cause... he doesn't have a daddy and a mommy, who love him. Yeah, that's it. He's an orphan!... with no hands!

Tom: Hey, what's wrong?
Lynette: (Crying) Because of me, my son's imaginary friend got crushed by a garbage truck. I am the worst person in the world.
Tom: Honey, he is gonna get over this in no time. Trust me. And one day, when he is all grown up, you and Parker are gonna laugh hysterically about this.
Lynette: You really think so? Really?
Tom: I promise.

Lynette: And, the rat, you took it outside?
Tom: Oh no, I smashed it with a shovel.
Lynette: You killed it?
Tom: Not with the first hit.

Bree: Give me your tie.
Tom: What?
Bree: Give me your tie!
Lynette: Give it to her! Give it to her!

Lynette: Maybe we should think about seeing another therapist.
Tom: When we started, you loved her.
Lynette: Yeah, and when we started, I loved you too. Things change.

Tom: It'll be ok, I'm looking for a job, and in the meantime we've got enough money to live on for the next... four months.
Lynette: So we'll run out right before the babies are born.
Tom: Yes. But remember, kids never miss what they never had.
Lynette: Ah, like food, clothing, a sober mother.

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