Oh, I've a list of men that could fill every opening you have.

Tobias: You didn't tell me you had a drug problem.
DeBrie: We met at a methadone clinic.
Tobias: Are you high? We met at an acting class.

Tobias: Here's to our acting addiction!
DeBrie: Yep.
Tobias: May we never be cured!
DeBrie: You should never give up a dream if you can write scripts!

I'm sorry, Mother. It's just, I've got a bit of a stick up my bunghole about what I've now found is a running joke about me. But let's be honest. For 2,000 rupees we'd both go down on Matthew McConaughey.

Tobias: Well, you look like I feel.
Gob: Gay?

Tobias: Everyone thinks I'm gay?
Lindsay: I mean, it's kind of a running joke...in the family.

Is there a little girl here all by herself?

Lindsay: I really love you, Tobias.
Tobias: Oh Lindsay. We have got to get you to that acting clinic.
Lindsay: And that was with me picturing fudge.

Tobias: I believe we're thinking the same thing. Let's give it another shot...
Lindsay: Yeah. We should end it.
Tobias: ...to the head. Kill it. Yes.

Tobias: Although, perhaps I should call the 'hot cops' and tell them to come up with something more nautically themed ... 'HOT sailors' ... or 'hot sea-ma'.
Michael: I like 'hot sailors'.
Tobias: Me, too ...

Michael: Where is Gob?
George Sr.: Oh, who knows? I don't even know where he lives.
Buster: He doesn't live at Michael's?
Tobias: I've always pictured him in a lighthouse.

Tobias: Well, I am off to buy the perfect present. Maybe she'd like a suit like this.
Narrator: That is her suit.
Tobias: Eh, they probably don't make it in a women's, though.
Narrator: They only make it in a women's.

Arrested Development Quotes

Okay, we are just about ass-to-ankles back here, Maeby. Do you want to hop on your cousin's lap there, please?

Tobias

(Regarding Buster) Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. But he was her 'miracle baby'. And I-I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care. So... He turned out a little soft, you know...

George Sr.