Brennan: Because you have forbidden us from taking samples in order to estimate the osteoconductivity of the oblique taphonomic remodeling to the mid saggital plane, enchaplametric transaction, or translation, if you will of the intramatrix can be deduced by correlating the force displacement values with the osteogenic and geogenic hydrogel nanocomposite we placed inside the surrogate.
Agent White: Which is the cantaloupe?
Brennan: You understand me perfectly.

Booth: Hey, guys! Guys, listen, I'm going to need some science gibber-gabber to distract these guys!
Brennan: Oh, do you know who's really good at gibber-gabber?
Booth: Who?
Brennan: Me!
Booth: Perfect! My lucky day.

Brennan: Bone graft. It looks like a repair to a screw hole.
Cam: Huh. I count three metal plates.
Brennan: Indicating multiple corrective surgeries.
Cam: Which could help us positively identify these remains.
Brennan: Mr. White told us to regard identification as a zero priority.
Cam: I'm not as good as you are at doing as I'm told.
Brennan: Thank you!

Cam: Strange question, I know, but I've gotta ask. [pulls EPT test from behind her back] Are you, by any chance, pregnant?
Brennan: No, I haven't had sexual intercourse in quite some time.
Cam: Do you want to know why I'm asking?
Brennan: You're holding a home pregnancy test. I assume it's positive and you're worried about losing the most important person in this lab.
Cam: No. Very modest. I'm asking because Michelle was here earlier this afternoon and the only other two people who you use that bathroom, beside me, are you and Angela.
Brennan: Well, Angela is currently sexually active.
Cam: Very true.
Brennan: With Wendell!
Cam: Very, very active!
Brennan: And even if they use condoms, Wendell is young! His sperm is likely to be extremely motile.
Cam: You are so cheering me up right now.

Booth: Come on Bones, you don't believe that there are other real life forms out there?
Bones: Well the ... probability is very high, but any alien visiting this planet would have sufficient intelligence not to die in the middle of the desert.

Brennan: It's not a spaceship.
Booth: Well, if it smells like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck ...
Brennan: But then it would be a duck, not a spaceship, so your point escapes me.
Booth: It's just a metaphor.

It's very satisfying to use an insulting colloquialism, even when it isn't accurate.

Booth: You know, when I say heartbreaking you say the heart is a muscle, so it can't break. It can only get crushed.
Brennan: Isn't it heartcrushing?
Booth: You want to go to his funeral?
Brennan: Yes, I would. Then she won't be alone.
Booth: You know what, Bones? Sometimes I think your heart muscle is bigger than people give you credit for.

Hodgins: Where's your chest hair?
Booth: I'm highly evolved!
Brennan: His pubic extension is entirely within normal --
Booth: Okay! Enough!

Brennan: I have to remove your clothing now.
Booth: Why?
Brennan: Well, there may be particulates.
Booth: Particulates.
Brennan: Evidence for Hodgins and flesh for Cam.

Brennan: You've created a geographic Venn diagram.
Booth: No, no, incorrect. What I've shown is here is they've overlapped in the same area.
Brennan: You need to Google "Venn diagram."

Booth: Fishing is not a sport!
Brennan: What? Monuments to sporting events in ancient Egypt include fishing, as well as swimming and wrestling.
Booth: Come on! No sweat, no sport!

Bones Quotes

Angela: I was talking about the Amalia Rose. The remains have been identified and they're moving them into the exhibit. The press conference is tomorrow.
Cam: Great.
Angela: Yea- not that this is any of my business, but um- I sort of thought that you'd ... be more interested.
Cam: (laughs) Interested, is that what I'm supposed to be.
Angela: I just thought tha-
Cam: That because I'm black, I should be all over this.

Worthy of a manger.

Hodgins

Bones Music

  Song Artist
Fearless Fearless Cyndi Lauper iTunes
The world is The World Is... Matthew Ryan iTunes
Song Rain Or Shine Matthew Perryman Jones