How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Still? Still with the Lebron jokes?

Oh Can-adorable, am I right?

Ted: Sorry dude, we gotta wait for the real thing, no matter how tough it gets.
Barney: It gets pretty tough.
Ted: I know it does buddy.

Kids I cannot stress this enough. Barney and I were going through a tough time.

Instead of throwing away your life marrying some girl, you just go splitsies on a kid with your best bro!

Barney: You know what would kick ass?
Ted: Being gay?
Barney: Being gay!

When it's just not there, you can't force it.

While this font is often mistaken for Helvetica, it's actually Helvetica Bold. I can actually hear the sound of her vagina being boarded up.

Barney: Studies show that 83% of all college students desperately need, Sex Lessons!
Ted: Barney these are eighteen year olds!
Barney: Ted, these are eighteen year olds!

Ted: Jeez Lily it's like you have a butt on your chest.
Barney: Whoop whoop whoop whoop!

Robin, get me my legal pad. It's Pros and Cons Time!

Lily: Wait a minute. You're going to date two girls at once? Don't you think you should just choose one before it gets serious?
Ted: Define serious.
Lily: Well that's complicated. I guess you have to weigh expectations, emotional investments...
Marshall: Third base, serious at third base.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 477 in total

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney