Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

Lily! I'm eating chili. I'm eating chili Lily!

Eight years ago I made an ass of myself chasing after you and I made an ass of myself chasing after you a bunch of times since then. I have no regrets because it led me to something I wouldn't trade for the world, it led to you being my friend. So as your friend and a leading expert in the field of making an ass of yourself. I say to you, from the heart, get the hell out of this car.

Ted: I need to grow up. Oh by the way I'm breaking a jinx swear here so don't tell Barney or he gets to whack me in the nuts three times with a whiffle ball bat.
Marshall: Sure, pretty standard.

This is gonna be a long jinx. Like Yom Kippur services long. The only difference is Yom Kippur's a fast and this one's gonna be a slow.

Ted: Barney, or should I say Borrowney?
Marshall: You should never say that.

Ted: Hugh Hefner, in you lobby, right now!
Barney: I'm gonna grab my robe!

Robin: I love Patrice, we're like sisters.
Ted: You've never gotten through even one exchange without screaming at her.
Robin: Sisters fight Ted!

I'm sorry, when I'm excited I abbreviate words I shouldn't.

Things have been weird lately. Is there another architect? Just tell me.

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